Jokes 2

Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi decide to go out to the countryside for a picnic. They grab their bikes and start cycling. As chance would have it they cycled through the old part of town. Nancy was ahead and then Sarah puts in a spurt to lead by 10 yards.
I came first says Sarah. Oh no you didn't says Nancy.

Moral of this story is - if you are female don't cycle over those damn cobbles !!
 
Sitting behind a couple of nuns at the baseball game (whose head gear partially blocked the view), three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.

In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there."

The second guy spoke up and said, "I think I'm going to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there."

The third guy said, "I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there."

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men and, in a very sweet, calm voice said; "Why don't you go to hell? There aren't any nuns there."
 
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An Inspiring Retiree!

As we get older we sometimes doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.

Rudolff Harold Schlumberger is such a person. Listen to his wise words:

"I've often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired'? Well... I'm fortunate to have a chemical and biological engineering background and one of the things I now enjoy doing the most, in my abundant spare time, is turning beer, wine, tequila, scotch, and margaritas into urine..."

:) :) :)
 
Quote from nutmeg:

Today must be lame day for me. You'll recognize everyone of these jokes.




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Mumbles is much more of a character. :)
 
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Quote from fhl:

Sitting behind a couple of nuns at the baseball game (whose head gear partially blocked the view), three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.

In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there."

The second guy spoke up and said, "I think I'm going to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there."

The third guy said, "I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there."

One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men and, in a very sweet, calm voice said; "Why don't you go to hell? There aren't any nuns there."
More...

Bullshit. I can think of four who are running the place about now.
 
So, with Obama imploding like a house being consumed by a sink hole, I 'd love to hear Bill and Hillary's pillow talk about how they were cheated out of what was rightfully theirs, preventing them from stealing what is rightfully ours. I think they're pissed they left some furniture and really nice silverware behind.

Of course, it was a phone conversation, each with women by their sides, Hillary's prettier than Bill's. Some things never change. At least they still talk during sex, even at their ages.
 
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