Jokes 2

A man buys coffee and then decides to get some pastries. He is afraid that someone drinks his coffee while he is buying a dessert.

To prevent the coffee theft, he puts a paper on the cup with the note: “I spitted in the coffee”.

When he returns, the coffee is there, and the paper is still on the cup. There is only additional sentence on the paper: “Me too”
 
If you ever find coins in your sofa that's hush money from JD Vance.

___

All these lame couch jokes about J.D. Vance only prove we are a nation in recline.

 







couch.jpg
 
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.

There was a sign on the cage that said $50

Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said,

"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of pro*stitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,

"New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said,

"Hi Keith
 
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