Jokes 2

When God speaks ! ! ! !

A friend of mine, Moshe, has a son. He wanted him to be a good Jew. That was more important than anything else. In order to give him the best teaching, he sent his son to Israel. Three months later, the son came back and to Moshe's disappointment, he became a CHRISTIAN. My friend was deeply embarrassed each time he sees his Jewish friends. Secretly he contacted his best friend, Apelbaum, also a Jew and told him his problem. Apelbaum told Moshe that he too has sent his son to Israel and his son too had become a Christian. That made two with the same problem. Finally they both decided to go to Geneva to consult the Grand Rabbi of Switzerland. The three met at the big Jewish Temple near the Lake of Geneva. They told the Rabbi their problem and for almost a minute the Grand Rabbi was speechless. The Rabbi then confessed. " I also has sent my son to Israel and be came back and told me that he too has become a Christian " The three of them stared at each other in shock and a minute passed. Then the Grand Rabbi broke the silence. Let us pray here now and ask GOD. They all agreed that God is the only one who can answer them. They prayed aloud and presented their request to Almighty God. Suddenly there came a voice from heaven. " I sent my son Jesus to Israel. He too has become a Christian " God replied.
 
ZzRNkHT.jpg
 
Finally, A Good Gun Story

A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his unholstered pistol and yelled, "I have a .45 Colt with an eight shot clip and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!!"
There was silence in the room, people looked at each other...
Then, a voice from way back called out, "You don't have enough ammo!"

:D:sneaky::)
 
17 GREAT TRUTHS

1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. -- John Adams

2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. -- Mark Twain

3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain

4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.--Winston Churchill

5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. -- George Bernard Shaw

6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. -- G. Gordon Liddy

7. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. -- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

8. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. --Ronald Reagan (1986)

9. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. -- Will Rogers

10. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free! -- P. J. O'Rourke

11. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. -- Mark Twain (1866)

12. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it. -- Anonymous

13. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. -- Winston Churchill

14. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. -- Mark Twain

15. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress. -- Mark Twain

16. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians --Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

17. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. -- Thomas Jefferson

5 BEST SENTENCES

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!

:cool::cool::cool:
 
The main idea about politics is not to be fair and generous but to stick as much of the money around into your own pocket and merge back into the fuzzy background.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top