Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Aahahaha! Nutmeg,I will send this to my brother.
American Love Story
Harlequin Novel, Updated.... 2011 Version:
He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear,"Just relax."
Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat.
I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up to my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage.
And then, as he cupped my breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.
Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine onto my quivering buttocks.
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking 'No' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say . . . ..
"Okay, young lady, you can board your flight now."
Harlequin Novel, Updated.... 2011 Version:
He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear,"Just relax."
Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat.
I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up to my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage.
And then, as he cupped my breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.
Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine onto my quivering buttocks.
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking 'No' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say . . . ..
"Okay, young lady, you can board your flight now."
Harry Potter's Wand
"Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his willy hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent."
"... Today's will be a practical lesson. You will only need your willies."
Harry rubbed his willy feverishly until white sparks shot out of the end, which earned him a disapproving look from Fleur.
"There was a moment, in the graveyard, where Voldemort's willy and mine sort of... connected."
Draco's sleek, black willy. Identical to his father's willy as far as Harry could remember...
"Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his willy hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent."
"... Today's will be a practical lesson. You will only need your willies."
Harry rubbed his willy feverishly until white sparks shot out of the end, which earned him a disapproving look from Fleur.
"There was a moment, in the graveyard, where Voldemort's willy and mine sort of... connected."
Draco's sleek, black willy. Identical to his father's willy as far as Harry could remember...