lol,
I went through that phase when I started out. It's gonna hurt.
Either you get out of your position now, and do some more soul searching, or you go through catharsis, lose ALL of your money and go through a period of self reflexion.
Either way you cannot keep trading like that.
What's it gonna be ?
Trading is not for everyone, if you are trading money that you cannot afford to lose, get out and get a job.