I've suffered a huge reversal in my trading over the last two years, and it has (almost) completely broken me. I know I'm not the only guy in this business to find himself in this position, and since I've been an off-and-on lurker on these boards for years now, this seems like as good a place as any to begin looking for a way back. Here's the story:
I spent seven years as a consistently profitable equity pairs trader, after paying some first-year dues learning the game. I'm not a trader who can boast no down months for seven years, but I had fewer than 10 in that time, and my up months were always much larger, and losing months were scattered events -- usually due to simply building an inventory of positions.
As market volatility compressed, so did my rate of return and income. It reached the point where I was unable to support my standard of living (which had risen somewhat, though not crazily) on trading profits alone and I began to dip into savings to supplement. I was reluctant to bail on a profitable strategy that was just in a slump, or so I thought, so I soldiered on trading, waiting out the lows for the upswing I was sure would come.
After a time my returns were near zero, and I was borrowing to survive. Depression began to set in, and my trading was affected accordingly. Then I took a fairly substantial loser, and was taken out of the game. My trading partner and I decided to call it quits, and our financial backers, though remarkably patient and encouraging throughout, concurred. We closed up shop, I liquidated assets -- including my home -- paid off creditors, and sought treatment for the depression.
Fortunately I was a carpenter in my previous life, so I could go back to work earning a living almost immediately. That helped me get a sense of forward motion again, and the release of pressure was terrific as well. Now, eight months or so after the bomb, I feel ready to get back to work, yet at the same time wondering how to proceed. I feel good about my background and discipline as a trader. I'm not prone to wild trades, taking gambles, or behaving irresponsibly. I'm clear-headed again and can still make decisions under pressure. I want to be back.
And yet the strategy that served both me and my partner for so long is still nothing like it when when we first developed it, and I'm mindful of the fact that, despite long, long nights and many hours of brainpower, when I understood that my system was falling down I was unable to adapt it to the current market.
Couldn't adapt? That's a negative on me -- a big one.
So where do I go from here, guys? How did you do it? (assuming you have) I have a wife, kids, a job, and very little capital. I also have a good reputation among the people I've traded and done business with, and an absolute need to have not been beaten. Any ideas?
I spent seven years as a consistently profitable equity pairs trader, after paying some first-year dues learning the game. I'm not a trader who can boast no down months for seven years, but I had fewer than 10 in that time, and my up months were always much larger, and losing months were scattered events -- usually due to simply building an inventory of positions.
As market volatility compressed, so did my rate of return and income. It reached the point where I was unable to support my standard of living (which had risen somewhat, though not crazily) on trading profits alone and I began to dip into savings to supplement. I was reluctant to bail on a profitable strategy that was just in a slump, or so I thought, so I soldiered on trading, waiting out the lows for the upswing I was sure would come.
After a time my returns were near zero, and I was borrowing to survive. Depression began to set in, and my trading was affected accordingly. Then I took a fairly substantial loser, and was taken out of the game. My trading partner and I decided to call it quits, and our financial backers, though remarkably patient and encouraging throughout, concurred. We closed up shop, I liquidated assets -- including my home -- paid off creditors, and sought treatment for the depression.
Fortunately I was a carpenter in my previous life, so I could go back to work earning a living almost immediately. That helped me get a sense of forward motion again, and the release of pressure was terrific as well. Now, eight months or so after the bomb, I feel ready to get back to work, yet at the same time wondering how to proceed. I feel good about my background and discipline as a trader. I'm not prone to wild trades, taking gambles, or behaving irresponsibly. I'm clear-headed again and can still make decisions under pressure. I want to be back.
And yet the strategy that served both me and my partner for so long is still nothing like it when when we first developed it, and I'm mindful of the fact that, despite long, long nights and many hours of brainpower, when I understood that my system was falling down I was unable to adapt it to the current market.
Couldn't adapt? That's a negative on me -- a big one.
So where do I go from here, guys? How did you do it? (assuming you have) I have a wife, kids, a job, and very little capital. I also have a good reputation among the people I've traded and done business with, and an absolute need to have not been beaten. Any ideas?
