How often do you inform spouse of P&L?

[ajensen]

I have started trading, and I intend to tell my wife about my P&L at the end of each month. I did yesterday, and fortunately the P&L of two weeks was positive. I think updating her more frequently could just cause stress, but if I lost more than $X intramonth I think I ought to inform her. We needed to decide what X is.

Of course, if she ever asks how the account is doing, I will tell her.

For married traders, how have you decided how often to communicate with your spouse about how it is going? Besides the spouse having a right to know how things are going, some traders may communicate because they need to vent their feelings. I tend to be buttoned up, so this consideration is less important for me.

 

[rmorse]

I did it Monthly.

 

[Handle123]

When I was married, she simply said we have bills, vacations, food etc, they got to get paid. In other words she didn't want to think about it. Perhaps ask wife if she wants to be informed or duration.

 

[i am nobody]

Every time when I have an excellent day I tell it to her. I receive then a special treatment. But my partner does not like it if I have three excellent days in a row... And if I have a losing row I cheat a little bit. Don't want to miss these special treatments to long... besides she never checks the account. Sothe regularity fo giving information has nothing to see with trading...

 

[Buy1Sell2]

Sadly, if asking this question, one should either not be trading or not be married.

 

[Buy1Sell2]

The answer though is to report results each day good or bad.

 

[qxr1011]

I have started trading, and I intend to tell my wife about my P&L at the end of each month. I did yesterday, and fortunately the P&L of two weeks was positive. I think updating her more frequently could just cause stress, but if I lost more than $X intramonth I think I ought to inform her. We needed to decide what X is.

Of course, if she ever asks how the account is doing, I will tell her.

For married traders, how have you decided how often to communicate with your spouse about how it is going? Besides the spouse having a right to know how things are going, some traders may communicate because they need to vent their feelings. I tend to be buttoned up, so this consideration is less important for me.

do not talk about it at all

what for?

she won't be able to handle the truth (nobody outside this business can)

 

[Sig]

I have started trading, and I intend to tell my wife about my P&L at the end of each month. I did yesterday, and fortunately the P&L of two weeks was positive. I think updating her more frequently could just cause stress, but if I lost more than $X intramonth I think I ought to inform her. We needed to decide what X is.

Of course, if she ever asks how the account is doing, I will tell her.

For married traders, how have you decided how often to communicate with your spouse about how it is going? Besides the spouse having a right to know how things are going, some traders may communicate because they need to vent their feelings. I tend to be buttoned up, so this consideration is less important for me.

The natural tendency is to report every up day and few down days. Which leads the intelligent spouse to ask after a few months what we're going to do with the millions we've made.
Like anything, if it's a big event that's going to impact us both or is impacting my mood I'll share it that day, good or bad. Same with a string of events that lead to a material change in our financial situation. Other than that it just comes up in whatever regular financial discussions we have. I'd say shielding your spouse because "they can't handle the truth" is probably a great warning sign that you're deluding yourself covering losses, so if I feel myself thinking that way I try to heed the warning. Also contempt for your spouse's ability to understand something is never helpful in a relationship, but that's just my opinion.

 

[Vertex]

The answer though is to report results each day good or bad.

The way you say "report results" gives the impression of submitting for approval. That seems a little stringent.

I don't expect my wife to report to me how well she performs at her profession on a daily basis. So I will not submit daily reports on how well I perform mine. If she wants to talk, that's fine. And when I need to talk(vent) she listens.

We each have expectations of the other, and I respect her enough to know that she will uphold her end regardless of how today went. She shows me the same respect. Does she worry sometimes? I have no doubt, just as I worry about her.

The answer, in my opinion, is that it depends on the people and the relationship.

 

[wrbtrader]

I have started trading, and I intend to tell my wife about my P&L at the end of each month. I did yesterday, and fortunately the P&L of two weeks was positive. I think updating her more frequently could just cause stress, but if I lost more than $X intramonth I think I ought to inform her. We needed to decide what X is.

Of course, if she ever asks how the account is doing, I will tell her.

For married traders, how have you decided how often to communicate with your spouse about how it is going? Besides the spouse having a right to know how things are going, some traders may communicate because they need to vent their feelings. I tend to be buttoned up, so this consideration is less important for me.

If trading is just a hobby to you or academic pursuit...no need to inform your spouse about your PnL.

If trading is a job to you...you don't need to "inform" your spouse but allowing her easy access (any time) to printed out documents of your trading including PnL, expenses and tax info is required in my opinion. I keep my printed info on a shelf in monthly chronological order...easy to access without me needing to say anything. I do the same digital, uploaded monthly to my tax accountant just in case the house burns down.

Reminder, only trade with money you can afford to lose especially if trading is only a hobby to you. Yet, if trading is a job to you, its more difficult to approach trading with money you can afford to lose but if you do lose the money...you and your spouse should have already made prior arrangements for you to re-enter to traditional job workplace. I say that because spouses hate uncertainty and they can quickly develop deep seeded anger if trading was a job and you lost the money and then decide put more money into the account to continue trading.

In situations like the latter, best to just go back into the traditional work force for awhile to let some steam out of the relationship, save money and then talk about trading again.

Money is a powerful thing...often a relationship killer. Be careful about venting too much to your spouse....seriously.