How often do you inform spouse of P&L?

My wife isn't interested. I bore the pants off her telling her about my trading "war stories", good and bad. She's happier when I talk about sports. The perfect woman in every way.
 
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No need to tell. Just don't lie.
First do no harm ... What's the outcomes ?
Does it helps ? Either you ? Or her ?
To talk is a psychological matter.

But one must be able to meet the duties.
If you're able to honor your expenses,
That's definitely all that matters.
 
Must be a tough gig for the men when the wife reports back that she lost everything in the retirement account and he has to type out a new resume and start cleaning toilets.

No poofs or lesbians on here? Probably a difficult crowd, I'd imagine, but from my perspective, the world would be a far duller place without you. No Alan Turing, Tchaikovsky, or that funny guy from the Big Bang Theory.
 
CALLumbus said:
So basically, when trading for a living and the intention to really do this longterm, you need lots of $$$, excellent skills/ edge and the proper mindset. If you have all these things, then you will not trade with fear but with confidence and with longterm success. You will run your trading just the way you would run another business.
More...


Exactly !

But...

One has to arrive to that point, if one will ever arrive to it...

And that where OP (and many many others in similar shoes) is going , but I would take a risk to say that he (and many others) is probably not there yet.

There will be many many failures, many false starts, a number of huge loses, extended periods of self-doubt, searches for new and effective method improvements, many sleepless nights, etc etc.. periods when method that seems to be working today suddenly stops working 6 month form now(it was not a working method apparently)... etc etc

And all these times trader after getting all the knock-downs and knock-outs should stand-up and to return back to the ring....

But at the same time he (not his wife) who has (or suppose to have) what it takes, he (not his wife) is improving and growing as a trader, he ( not his wife) is the one who developed the method (in which he put his trust), he (not his wife) developed those callouses on the soul (that will allow him to continue, and approach another failure stoically) while developing himself from sucker to trader, he (not his wife) change psychologically , mentally, even physically to arrive at the point where he will be able to handle the situation the way it to be handled and to proceed further.

And suddenly we are to let the unprepared person to get a punch in the face (that was addressed to trader)?

She will lose her teeth in a second and will pee in her pants after that. She is not prepared....

All woman can and (and imho should do) is to believe in her man. What and how does he handle trading is his business, and it is not for her eyes.

Imho she can handle the knowledge of situation only if she went with him through all the development as a trader (de-facto she is a trader herself). But here is another problem - in this business two heads are worse that one....

"I knew Moe, I knew he was head-strong, talking loud, saying stupid things. So when he turned up dead, I let it go. And I said to myself, this is the business we've chosen; I didn't ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with business!" (Godfather)

:)
 
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Reporting to her is not a good idea in my opinion.

If you are having a winning streak, she will feel rich and spend more.
Then later one when you experience a drawdown, she is going to get furious, for you not making money. She doesn't understand what a drawdown is.

Females are very emotional, especially about money.
 
Being serious for a moment...one thing I did which helped was give my wife a copy of a trading psychology book written by Steenbarger. She only got about half way through before she almost died of boredom, but it really helped her understand what a trader goes through on a day to day basis.

Since that point, she's actually been really detached from it all. If I have a tough day and lose some money, she'll tell me to pull myself together, but there's no drama. When I have a good day and am feeling elated, she's nonplussed, and will quickly bring me back down to earth, remind me there's more work to be done. As long as the bills gets paid, it's my problem how I deal with the stresses involved, because it was my decision to choose this path. You can't ask for anything more really.

Internally though, the pressure should come from within. You should be reporting to yourself, first and foremost.
 
The mentor I had in my twenties told me the following about communicating to girlfriends/wives:

"Baron, the fact is that men are just built different than women when it comes to handling information, especially if it's stressful. If you want to tell your girlfriend or wife every little good or bad thing, that's your choice, but there's ramifications to doing things that way. Just remember that women don't NEED to know everything. As you get older, you'll find that it's in your best interest to keep her emotionally stable by protecting her from information that will stress her out unnecessarily. You'll never get laid when your woman is emotional and stressed. "
 
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