Try telling your FIL that you would be willing to "cut him in" for $50K, and give him half the profits.....that way he'll feel included.
(Of course, tongue in cheek, but trading is tough enough without having outside concerns like this).
Don
Handling Skepticism from Loved Ones
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Try telling your FIL that you would be willing to "cut him in" for $50K, and give him half the profits.....that way he'll feel included.
(Of course, tongue in cheek, but trading is tough enough without having outside concerns like this).
Don
How can we know exactly what anyone elses plan is when they communicate to us? It can be any one, all or a combination of the things mentioned thus far in this thread. Generally, with trading, its about fear. However nice it feels to try to placate their concerns, we cannot control the future, and therefore must understand that there is no utility involved in trying to satisfy someone elses fears about the future. If it breaks up your family to make your peace and then go about your business, if this isn't good enough for them, then your FIL and other similar relationships are just not useful for you, so go surround yourself with people who share similar views. You can think, and maybe act "f*ck them", but you don't have to say it.
If you look at trading as a skill to be learned, then you know you can succeed. Make reasonable provisions for living well as you learn your skill, and treat what you consider victory and failure with the same face (this works well if you have friends and relatives that dont understand, and it helps your trading...remember your edge is produced/revealed over time of many trades...not any one). If you are married, plan it with your wife, since she will be involved with the risk and reward. If you truly understand what risk is, you can teach it to her as you learn to think in probabilities. Make a simple statement to you FIL that communicates your respect for him, but equally important (if it is so) your desire to become a career trader. If you are going to waver here, how can you expect to hold your own as a trader?
Ask yourself, if you were making a great living trading, how would that change their perspective and support of you, if it is too different than now, it may be very important for you to find some trading specific role models, as you have begun to do here at least in thought. Find creative ways to keep communication open with your in laws, but remain focused on your goal.
If you look at trading as a skill to be learned, then you know you can succeed. Make reasonable provisions for living well as you learn your skill, and treat what you consider victory and failure with the same face (this works well if you have friends and relatives that dont understand, and it helps your trading...remember your edge is produced/revealed over time of many trades...not any one). If you are married, plan it with your wife, since she will be involved with the risk and reward. If you truly understand what risk is, you can teach it to her as you learn to think in probabilities. Make a simple statement to you FIL that communicates your respect for him, but equally important (if it is so) your desire to become a career trader. If you are going to waver here, how can you expect to hold your own as a trader?
Ask yourself, if you were making a great living trading, how would that change their perspective and support of you, if it is too different than now, it may be very important for you to find some trading specific role models, as you have begun to do here at least in thought. Find creative ways to keep communication open with your in laws, but remain focused on your goal.
Thank you for this terrific post. You and gms have been especially helpful.
When people do not understand the stock market they seem to fear it. Maybe try and teach him or get him some books on the subject.
My Dad who I love and respect thinks I am going to the poor house. My Mom figures I won't get in over my head and will start another small business if this does not work out. Neither one want to understand the market. My parents made money in the market with Mutual Funds too. But Dad has no confidence in me at all.
I make jokes about how I know where all the soup kitchens are and such. But what they know is this. I have had a lot of different jobs and businesses and I will know when it is time to either invest more in it or cut my losses and move on. They know I have no problem with being flexible. Maybe he just needs reassurance that this is new job you are trying out. And at least no one can fire you from this job but yourself. That in itself is a very secure thing.
With a baby on the way, I can understand why your father in law is concerned. But tell him what you wrote. This is a 10 month trial job.
Parents always worry....it is their job. You have to love them. When you get to be a parent, you will see why.
My Dad who I love and respect thinks I am going to the poor house. My Mom figures I won't get in over my head and will start another small business if this does not work out. Neither one want to understand the market. My parents made money in the market with Mutual Funds too. But Dad has no confidence in me at all.
I make jokes about how I know where all the soup kitchens are and such. But what they know is this. I have had a lot of different jobs and businesses and I will know when it is time to either invest more in it or cut my losses and move on. They know I have no problem with being flexible. Maybe he just needs reassurance that this is new job you are trying out. And at least no one can fire you from this job but yourself. That in itself is a very secure thing.
With a baby on the way, I can understand why your father in law is concerned. But tell him what you wrote. This is a 10 month trial job.
Parents always worry....it is their job. You have to love them. When you get to be a parent, you will see why.
Ahhh, how I would love to do that! Problem is I'm not anywhere near that level. If I were, he never would have said what he said....
Someday.....
Then take your FIL over to watch Vikana trade.
If your FIL is someone successful, as you said, he won't stand for correction from you or anyone. Don't try to "teach" him anything, it will only annoy him. People like that, self-made people, are leaders. Their day involves telling others what to do. They cannot be told what to do. Don't swim upstream. Don't trade against the trend. And don't try to tell your FIL what's what.
My best advice.
Brings back fond memories. I tried that same trick with my first FIL, taking him to the home of one of the best traders I know. As luck would have it, he was heavily short when his computer crashed just before a surprise rate cut. I got wise with my second FIL, telling him that, contrary to what is generally accepted, a red P&L meant a profit. He fell for it, but my screen was all green as I managed to post my first winning day in 2 months, and a big one at that. My third FIL is sitting behind me smiling as I type this post.Quote from gms:
Then take your FIL over to watch Vikana trade.