Election 2024 Foreplay
- Thread starter TreeFrogTrader
- Start date
Another good day for Mr. Trump.
So much winning of late!
So much winning of late!
Shit for Brains Biden comes out and argues that no man is a king and above the law.
But he forgets to remind viewers that his justice department came out and told us that although Biden had committed all the elements of a crime that he was not subject to prosecution due to mental incompetence and that his justice department let a series of felonies committed by his son lapse beyond the statute
of limitations so that they could not be prosecuted.
But he forgets to remind viewers that his justice department came out and told us that although Biden had committed all the elements of a crime that he was not subject to prosecution due to mental incompetence and that his justice department let a series of felonies committed by his son lapse beyond the statute
of limitations so that they could not be prosecuted.
BAB BEE
‘Trump Will Imprison His Political Opponents!’ Says Guy Imprisoning His Political Opponents
RALEIGH, NC — At a rally following a disastrous debate performance, a guy who has spent the last few years imprisoning his political opponents warned the crowd that if Donald Trump is elected, he will imprison his political opponents.
The frightening accusation that Trump will use the power of the federal government to persecute his enemies seemed to have a significant impact coming from the man who has gained extensive experience in using the power of the federal government to persecute his most prominent enemies.
"This is serious business, folks," Biden said to his assembled supporters. "The idea… that someone would use the power of… the power… their office… to seek revenge on their political opponents goes against everything… goes against all of the… goes… goes against… is an attempt to destroy democracy. That is why I have spent the last three years deploying the Justice Department against Donald Trump to put him in prison. Larbinffermonder."
Political analysts praised Biden's powerful warning as a sign that he's still capable of serving in the highest office in the land. "We all thought he was done after that terrible debate," said one insider. "To see him come out at that campaign rally and accuse Trump of plotting to do exactly what Biden's been doing was a political masterstroke. He may not be able to string together a coherent sentence, but he's still incredibly presidential."
At publishing time, the Biden campaign issued a statement ordering all voters to re-elect Biden to save the country or face persecution and imprisonment if they refused.
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-w...-says-guy-imprisoning-his-political-opponents
‘Trump Will Imprison His Political Opponents!’ Says Guy Imprisoning His Political Opponents
RALEIGH, NC — At a rally following a disastrous debate performance, a guy who has spent the last few years imprisoning his political opponents warned the crowd that if Donald Trump is elected, he will imprison his political opponents.
The frightening accusation that Trump will use the power of the federal government to persecute his enemies seemed to have a significant impact coming from the man who has gained extensive experience in using the power of the federal government to persecute his most prominent enemies.
"This is serious business, folks," Biden said to his assembled supporters. "The idea… that someone would use the power of… the power… their office… to seek revenge on their political opponents goes against everything… goes against all of the… goes… goes against… is an attempt to destroy democracy. That is why I have spent the last three years deploying the Justice Department against Donald Trump to put him in prison. Larbinffermonder."
Political analysts praised Biden's powerful warning as a sign that he's still capable of serving in the highest office in the land. "We all thought he was done after that terrible debate," said one insider. "To see him come out at that campaign rally and accuse Trump of plotting to do exactly what Biden's been doing was a political masterstroke. He may not be able to string together a coherent sentence, but he's still incredibly presidential."
At publishing time, the Biden campaign issued a statement ordering all voters to re-elect Biden to save the country or face persecution and imprisonment if they refused.
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-w...-says-guy-imprisoning-his-political-opponents
BAB BEE
Jill Biden Refuses To Drop Out Of Presidential Race
https://babylonbee.com/news/jill-biden-refuses-to-drop-out-of-presidential-race
Jill Biden Refuses To Drop Out Of Presidential Race
https://babylonbee.com/news/jill-biden-refuses-to-drop-out-of-presidential-race
Dems Stick With Biden As It Would Be A Real Pain To Reprint These Ballots They Already Filled Out
The Democratic Party considered replacing Biden after the Presidential debate revealed his inability to walk or speak, but the amount of ballots already prepared for harvesting dissuaded them. "Obviously, Biden can't operate a frialator, much less run a country," said White House chief of staff Jeff Zeints. "To have him continue to be the corpse-like mouthpiece of the Party is nothing short of elder abuse, and everyone knows it. Still, do you know how long it takes to fill out two hundred thousand ballots? Ugh, it is so much work! Forget it."
https://babylonbee.com/news/dems-st...reprint-these-ballots-they-already-filled-out
The Democratic Party considered replacing Biden after the Presidential debate revealed his inability to walk or speak, but the amount of ballots already prepared for harvesting dissuaded them. "Obviously, Biden can't operate a frialator, much less run a country," said White House chief of staff Jeff Zeints. "To have him continue to be the corpse-like mouthpiece of the Party is nothing short of elder abuse, and everyone knows it. Still, do you know how long it takes to fill out two hundred thousand ballots? Ugh, it is so much work! Forget it."
https://babylonbee.com/news/dems-st...reprint-these-ballots-they-already-filled-out
Biden Getting Nervous As Hillary Clinton Enters Emergency Family Meeting
CAMP DAVID — President Biden began feeling rather nervous this morning when Hillary Clinton arrived for what was supposed to be an emergency family meeting about his campaign.
"This is bad, Joe," Biden whispered to himself. "I may be in some real trouble here."
According to high-level sources, the Biden team had called a family meeting after early efforts failed to quell the panic after Biden's disastrous debate. About fifteen minutes in, Clinton unexpectedly walked into the meeting without saying a word, put on latex gloves, and sat in the corner to watch the proceedings. "So, uh, as I was saying, we can ride this news cycle out," said Biden, anxiously eyeing Clinton. "Calm donors down, tell the media to shape up... there's no need to pull the plug or poison someone or hang them in a jail cell from a bedsheet or anything."
Clinton stated she had simply come to Camp David for a little bit of sight-seeing and to help the campaign to hit the reset button. "Oh, I'm just here watching the birds, waiting to see which kind of reset they wish to do," said Clinton. "Isn't politics exciting?"
At publishing time, President Biden had decided to start having his dog try out his morning oatmeal, just in case.
CAMP DAVID — President Biden began feeling rather nervous this morning when Hillary Clinton arrived for what was supposed to be an emergency family meeting about his campaign.
"This is bad, Joe," Biden whispered to himself. "I may be in some real trouble here."
According to high-level sources, the Biden team had called a family meeting after early efforts failed to quell the panic after Biden's disastrous debate. About fifteen minutes in, Clinton unexpectedly walked into the meeting without saying a word, put on latex gloves, and sat in the corner to watch the proceedings. "So, uh, as I was saying, we can ride this news cycle out," said Biden, anxiously eyeing Clinton. "Calm donors down, tell the media to shape up... there's no need to pull the plug or poison someone or hang them in a jail cell from a bedsheet or anything."
Clinton stated she had simply come to Camp David for a little bit of sight-seeing and to help the campaign to hit the reset button. "Oh, I'm just here watching the birds, waiting to see which kind of reset they wish to do," said Clinton. "Isn't politics exciting?"
At publishing time, President Biden had decided to start having his dog try out his morning oatmeal, just in case.
Trump Indicted For Murdering Elderly Man On CNN
ATLANTA — Tonight's presidential debate ended abruptly when Donald Trump was served with papers notifying him that he had been indicted for the murder of an elderly man on CNN.
"Hey, I didn't do anything!" Trump told authorities. "He was like that when I got here!"
ATLANTA — Tonight's presidential debate ended abruptly when Donald Trump was served with papers notifying him that he had been indicted for the murder of an elderly man on CNN.
"Hey, I didn't do anything!" Trump told authorities. "He was like that when I got here!"
NOT BAB BEE
Joe Biden's Support Among Moderates Collapses by 20 Points in One State
President Joe Biden's support among moderates has plummeted by 20 points in New Hampshire after his poor debate performance last week, according to a new poll.
The Saint Anselm College survey found that 38 percent of moderate voters said they would vote for Biden if the election were held today—down from the 58 percent who said the same in December. Forty-four percent of moderates would back Donald Trump, while 7 percent said they would vote for independent candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Joe Biden's Support Among Moderates Collapses by 20 Points in One State (msn.com)
Joe Biden's Support Among Moderates Collapses by 20 Points in One State
President Joe Biden's support among moderates has plummeted by 20 points in New Hampshire after his poor debate performance last week, according to a new poll.
The Saint Anselm College survey found that 38 percent of moderate voters said they would vote for Biden if the election were held today—down from the 58 percent who said the same in December. Forty-four percent of moderates would back Donald Trump, while 7 percent said they would vote for independent candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Joe Biden's Support Among Moderates Collapses by 20 Points in One State (msn.com)
White House press secretary just responded to concerns about Biden.
It's all good. Joe had a cold.
It's all good. Joe had a cold.