straight shooting here, it is cruel what you said happened to you with a drug abusing mom though I assume your mom quit abusing alcohol or drugs early in your gestation or your would be even more affected. at least the damage is not in the germ-line so if you have kids of your own they have every chance of being bright.
Who knows what I was subjected to in the womb. I did use drugs from age 4 to age 11, including cheap, hard ones that where laying around. And yes, being brought up in that living environment had negative developmental affects that I still try to mitigate each day. I was taught cop bad; drug dealer good and that we were victims being taken advantage of by the system. We looked at my mom’s one “normal” brother who had a good job, attractive mate, and well-adjusted children as abnormal. We delighted hearing about any setbacks they had because it made us feel better about ourselves. We used sarcasm and negativity as our primary communication style. Although early on efforts made by various family members to improve their situation were rare, they were met with ridicule, especially by my alcoholic grandmother: “Why would you ever want to do that?”, she would say. Her motivation was simple. He was afraid family members that showed any sort of initiative would ultimately leave her all alone.
A few weeks ago, I responded to another ET poster that I was going to cover ideas on how to address proverty. I didn’t want to respond immediately in order keep that subject top of mind and stew. I took notes so as to not leave anything out. I now have outlines suitable for several books on different subjects.
My upbringing, exposure to many other people that have been brought up in a similiar situation, and my analytical nature makes me well qualified on what helps and what does not.
Earlier in the post, you were just only given a small sample of disfunctional beliefs some people have. It sounds brutal, but it is fact. Until we address the underlying physcology and people’s predictable responses against the help of others, that includes deep mistrust of others and strong defense mechanisms, no real progress will be made in addressing the root causes of poverty. Here is a sample defense mechanism: “If I accept help, it is admitting there is something wrong with me and that I can’t take care of myself”. This is not so much as a thought pattern, it is an emotional response.
There are specific ways to address these defense mechanisms and deep mistrust. As a result of my wide and varied interests, I have been exposed to a very diverse group of people and situations. In addition, I learned a lot by often testing limits well into adulthood. Not good for relationships, but good for understanding how social and other systems work. It was through years of this process that I realized my problems were internal, not external.
I hurt a lot of people, especially those who tried the hardest to help me. Some had never ending patience with me, but really could not fathom the emotional and physcological issues in play. Upon realizing my life was a decisive negative value add for society and my desire to pay tribute to those poor abused souls who tried to help me, I decided to look for ways to turn things around.
Although some progress has been made, the big kuhuna would conveying lessons learned to a wide audience and applying principles learned to help others who were brought up in a very disfunctional environment.
Sorry for the unintentionally long post and leaving it unfinished, but I got to go. Will update later.