Divorce ... Your #1 lesson learned?
- Thread starter KCalhoun
- Start date
Now she says she doesn't want to divorce.... no surprise lol. Well maybe separation is OK for now, with post-nup saying she doesn't get half of my earnings moving forward. I do Not want to split trading profits with her.
At least I wouldn't have to sell house immediately, just help her get started elsewhere.
At least I wouldn't have to sell house immediately, just help her get started elsewhere.
That's good, you're now holding the upper hand. Not that I'm taking sides, I'm just trying to save you some money, and more importantly, huge amounts of health deteriorating stress.
Use this brief moment in time to fire both lawyers; then, assuming you two are still halfway civil, negotiate a way out, give her whatever she wants.
Give it to her, put it in writing, and then go down to the CH and file it yourself.
The "give her whatever she wants" part is very important. Negotiate tough, but you have to provide a carrot. Define whatever that is, only you truly know... and then play tough, but in the end, give in...
Let her have it all if that's what she wants.
You'll be fine Ken... money is easy.
Time and youth is not.
Trust me on this...
You'll both win.
"Divorce mediation" has basically become a cottage industry everywhere in the country so that is the intermediate way to go - halfway between going it alone without lawyers at one extreme and lawyering up and going to court at the other.
So that is a viable option. Instead of your lawyer and her lawyer banging it out, you both agree upon a mediator together and enter into that process. It is not (unless agreed upon) necessarily binding. The parties can bail out and continue on the court and lawyer route if an acceptable agreement is not found. Usually the mediator is a lawyer so the legal considerations get addressed in the final agreement. I don't think they have to be by law though. Some are counseling types. Even though mediation is not binding in itself, if you and your wife reach an agreement, the mediator writes it up and it becomes an attachment to the divorce decree if approved by judge and then becomes a binding court decree.
As aside, the selling of a house and the timing of such is just another negotiable item. It is very common for couples to split but one of them wants to keep the house because the kids have another year of school and do not want to leave the house before then, so on and so forth. Or that the parties do not want to sell into a crappy market. All of that is negotiatble."House to be sold within two years with proceeds to be equally divided between the parties upon completion of the sale" blah, blah, blah.
Just google your city and "divorce mediation" and read through some of the many mediators and their shpiel.
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Solid ideas, thx.... you sound like you have wisdom in this matter, thanks. Agree re settling peacefully is essential.
I'm wondering if I should do separation now for convenience, eg I get her set up away from here for awhile, vs pressure to sell house immediately. I'm done with her 100% for sure... but separation, then divorce may be easier process... her idea to separate.... thoughts? Thx!
Right re mediation, smart idea ... we may be able to settle amicably... I totally don't want to fight.
She repeatedly asks if I'm going to remarry. I say no way. She said my going behind her back to hire a lawyer isn't good. She says she doesn't want to rush into divorce..
So basically she wants to stay together I think. I want to get her moved our asap so I can date and move on. So I'm thinking separation then divorce once she's moved out.
She repeatedly asks if I'm going to remarry. I say no way. She said my going behind her back to hire a lawyer isn't good. She says she doesn't want to rush into divorce..
So basically she wants to stay together I think. I want to get her moved our asap so I can date and move on. So I'm thinking separation then divorce once she's moved out.
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