Chuck Norris Trading Facts

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his excellent trading ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.

The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
 
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.

He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
 
Once, CBOT tried to bust a YM trade he made...it now trades on GLOBEX.

'Max time to recover' only applies to his victims.

Chuck Norris owns the barrels that crude is shipped in.
 
Chuck Norris trades the ES blindfolded using only braille at the same time doing a hip hop mash up of Beethoven's 9th symphony in Japanese...



:)
 
When Chuck Norris logs into ET, he only sees 3 threads.

The moderators work full-time making sure he doesn't see 99.7%the stupid ass threads that are created.

Needless to say, he doesn't see any of the polls asking whether its possible to take $5K to $500K in 6 months.
 
When Chuck Norris logs into his trading platform, he sees only those trades with the perfect set-up. He programmed the software himself. A dirty look is all it took.
 
Quote from circadian:

chuck norris buys 10 barrels of oil a day, just to oil his biceps.
More...

He uses another 10 to oil his dick for the nightcap.

Nobody ever hears from these women again.
 
Trading curbs were not created to keep the markets from plunging during periods of great volatility.

They were created to allow Chuck Norris to refill his coffee cup during times of great volatility. Chuck Norris doesn't care if the markets plunge. He was the one that told it to plunge.

And his coffee consists of 1/2 unground coffee beans, 1/2 cocaine extract, and 1/2 cobra venom.

He grinds the coffee beans with his teeth.

And yes, when it pertains to Chuck Norris' coffee, 1/2 + 1/2+ 1/2 = 100%
 
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