Quote from Fleming Snopes:
Doc, how's come yew doan lit me clean yar chimbly na mar? That farr jes wernt ma fawtt. Ennyhoo, ah gots me a noo kay-rear! I'se a tradur! Onney prollem is, is 'at ah cain't naford na fast internett. So's I cut inta tha satullight saucer a tha fat leddy inna trayler nex doar. Works gud whin tha ole oak tree ain't a wavin roun lak a madman. But hears ma qusteen. Tha uplode latuncey ain sa gud, lookin' lak a few milly secunds ar therebouts. Kin ah do that faincy noo high freqqency tradin widdat?
"Lateuncy" is the least of your problems. Congenital idiocy is. And that "farr" WAS your fault. Pouring gasoline down the "chimbly" to burn off the soot was pure white trash. But, hey, all is forgiven, Flem. Say "Hi!" to your mom and tell her I still miss her because I haven't had any since she movved out.