Damn Yankee holiday! On this day in 1863 that idiot George Pickett lost the war. But for that fool we would be celebrating quite a different event tomorrow. Consequently I am reduced in my genteel poverty to trading for accurst scalawag Yankee paper money. Stars and Stripes? Stars and Bars! And if I have to listen to The Battle Hymn of the Republic one more fucking time I am going postal with a scattergun! Thank the good Lord our Southern representatives (carpetbaggers and Reconstructionists though they be) voted down that silly amendment so I can continue to desecrate that hated flag on the fourth!
Anti-Jack Trading
- Thread starter hypostomus
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Mrs. Plecostomus Takes the Day Off (A True Story)
"You need to clean the tank, dear, there lots of chunky stuff collected at the bottom."
"Not now, Tetra, I'm trading."
(Tartly) "Not now, I'm trading! I NEVER hear you say you make any money at it! You could make more money cleaning fish tanks!"
(Defensively) "I don't NEED to make MUCH money at it, just enough to supplement social insecurity, $100 a day doubles it."
"Well then, what are you trading TODAY?"
"NQ."
(Sassily) "That's a funny symbol. I thought they had to have at least three letters. That one about to be delisted?"
"Very funny, actually it's NQ U6."
(Alarmedly) "Didn't I warn you about those NASDAC stocks? And what's with the number? Did they run out of letter combinations in the last bubble?"
(Patiently) "No, Tetra, dear, it's a future."
(Accusingly) "The way you guzzle that Gloria every night, you don't HAVE any future!"
To Be Continued, Wherein Mr. Plecostumus Defends Futures Trading to the Missus
"You need to clean the tank, dear, there lots of chunky stuff collected at the bottom."
"Not now, Tetra, I'm trading."
(Tartly) "Not now, I'm trading! I NEVER hear you say you make any money at it! You could make more money cleaning fish tanks!"
(Defensively) "I don't NEED to make MUCH money at it, just enough to supplement social insecurity, $100 a day doubles it."
"Well then, what are you trading TODAY?"
"NQ."
(Sassily) "That's a funny symbol. I thought they had to have at least three letters. That one about to be delisted?"
"Very funny, actually it's NQ U6."
(Alarmedly) "Didn't I warn you about those NASDAC stocks? And what's with the number? Did they run out of letter combinations in the last bubble?"
(Patiently) "No, Tetra, dear, it's a future."
(Accusingly) "The way you guzzle that Gloria every night, you don't HAVE any future!"
To Be Continued, Wherein Mr. Plecostumus Defends Futures Trading to the Missus
En effet. I interviewed some prominent (as in "sticking out") members of the Tucson IBD over the weekend. True believers, every one. But not quite ready for SCT. I got horrified ashen faced looks from them all when I asked casually: "Oh, by the way, do you short?"
I find it quite cruel that ET makes constant fun of my favorite patient's MPD. So I though I would share with you the secret of his trading success: MPD! Here is how we prep for the open.
Me: "OK, boy! I practically invented modern analytical and pharmacological psychiatry! Just pop these and everything will be OK. No! No! THAT one goes in your mouth! The OTHER one goes up your ass!"
Joe Doaks: "Don't even LOOK at my windows and studies! You stick to the simple shit, double tops/bottoms, exhaustion...I'll tell you if anything subtle happens and what it means. Shut up, fuckstick! I've got six windows running with fourteen panes! Yer outa yer league! Oh, and if I do a little real-time code tweaking, don't panic!"
John Merchant: "OK, butty boy, I got yer back, haha! Oil moves even a penny a squirt and you'll know it!"
Kokomo Bogart: "Don't sweat the jackels, the failures to jack, the jack-ups and the jack-outs! They're mine!"
N.Q. Enqueue: "I'll tell you where we are relative to the open, the Vee-Wop, and the round numbers. Don't think! Just punch "T" when I say so!"
F.-M. Arouet: "Aux armes, citoyens! Formez vos battaillons! Marchez! Marchez! Q'un sang impur abreuve nos sillons!"
Cassandra: "OK, 'Possmus. Easy, boy. An' doan jerk! Ah doan wan' bang mah haid onna unnersidedda yo' desk! Hugh Grant lakked it! YO' goan lakk it! Yo' jess stay calm an' stay inna trade!"
Me: "OK, boy! I practically invented modern analytical and pharmacological psychiatry! Just pop these and everything will be OK. No! No! THAT one goes in your mouth! The OTHER one goes up your ass!"
Joe Doaks: "Don't even LOOK at my windows and studies! You stick to the simple shit, double tops/bottoms, exhaustion...I'll tell you if anything subtle happens and what it means. Shut up, fuckstick! I've got six windows running with fourteen panes! Yer outa yer league! Oh, and if I do a little real-time code tweaking, don't panic!"
John Merchant: "OK, butty boy, I got yer back, haha! Oil moves even a penny a squirt and you'll know it!"
Kokomo Bogart: "Don't sweat the jackels, the failures to jack, the jack-ups and the jack-outs! They're mine!"
N.Q. Enqueue: "I'll tell you where we are relative to the open, the Vee-Wop, and the round numbers. Don't think! Just punch "T" when I say so!"
F.-M. Arouet: "Aux armes, citoyens! Formez vos battaillons! Marchez! Marchez! Q'un sang impur abreuve nos sillons!"
Cassandra: "OK, 'Possmus. Easy, boy. An' doan jerk! Ah doan wan' bang mah haid onna unnersidedda yo' desk! Hugh Grant lakked it! YO' goan lakk it! Yo' jess stay calm an' stay inna trade!"
Jack isn't himself ready for SCT.
He wrote us about backtests for 4 systems being "planned". Only the first one is being worked on - not ready at all yet.
Hypo, I guess in the meantime we will all have to go on believing. I could repost Jack's little gem on SCT for the mathematical savvy ones if I would receive explicit requests to do so from genuinely qualified individuals (Uncertified Quants unwelcome).
Oh, please do! Master used to let us watch him trade, but he got offended at our snorting and snickering, so now we can only watch through the window.
On this infamous day in Southern history, that gutless coward John Pemberton surrendered Vicksburg to that no-good drunken bankrupt Grant, starting a shameful new tradition for American generals, the dubious pinnacle of which was Dugout Doug. Which brings me to my point: I am the Southern Jack! Trading futures is the only way for downtrodden disenfranchised white trash to beat the Yankees at their own game! Rally to me, friends! Trade to the sound of the ticks! Take no prisoners! Leave no witnesses! Read between the lines of this thread. Therein lies your financial salivation. Open. VWAP. Round numbers. Think of them as field fortifications placed where the enemy MUST attack!
Dear Stonewall,
I disagree that GP lost the day and the battle and the cause. It was on the second day that the slow to git started, defensive minded Longstreet, who also forgot to defend the hill with the little rounded top, took his time gettin everbody in place. Had he done what I ask'd 'em to do, we woulda won.
RELee
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