Siberian Butt Fungus is no laughing matter. Your butt develops a green slimy skin that sprouts tendrils that can reach 8 feet in length and develop a feeding instinct of their own ....often attempting to ensnare small animals like mice, cats and puppies and insert them into the anus for digestion. The victim often dies from having too many large creatures like raccoons or or stuffed animal toys crammed into the large intestine. Trump spokesperson Matt Hugecrap has stated categorically that the The Donald does not have Siberian Butt Fungus.