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The Praying Parrots A lady approaches her priest and tells him 'Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.' "What do they say?' the priest inquired. "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some...

And They Ask Why I Like Retirement! Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it...

Thanks guys, I appreciate your input. Since in general I am confident about my trading and don't need more capital, I don't really feel prop trading is for me at this point. Lower commissions might be good, but IB is pretty cheap already, and so my incentive is kind of weak. Changing trading...

Brazilianwonder, I have been trading (profitably, from home) for a few years on my own through IB and have looked at prop trading before, never being able to make the case for it. Perhaps I don't understand well enough the reasons to go in that direction, and wonder if I am missing an...

The Monks' Secret A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The Monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries...

Those Brits Again Lady: Sir, Is this my train? Station Master: No Madam, it belongs to the London Railway Company. Lady: Don't try to be funny, Sir. I meant to ask if I can take this train to Liverpool... Station Master: Again, no Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy! :) :) :)

New York Restaurant Customer: Waiter, do you serve pigs? Waiter: Please sit down Sir and wait your turn, we serve everyone! :) :) :)

Ahhh, Those Brits!! Two English gentlemen were talking about the weather one day when one looks into the distance and says: "Sir, do you see that lady over there?" To which the other one replies indignantly: "What on Earth do you mean? That's no lady... That's my wife!" :) :) :)

The Remember Song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yN-6PbqAPM :) :) :)

For Brilliant Minds I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat...

Fun With The English Language We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of...

Thanks ids, I'll study this a little more carefully because it can affect the way I trade.

Does anyone know if this rule (6x margin for accounts greater than $100,000) is valid for intra-day trading at IB? TIA

For Lexophiles Only 1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. 2. A will is a dead giveaway. 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. 6. A...

Smart Kids At Work - Again The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade (whatever that means?), in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar...

As I've Matured... I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses. I've...

Wonderful Elephant Story In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very...

It's A Jungle Out There! A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant, opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu: Broiled Missionary: $10.00 Fried Explorer: $15.00 Baked Politician: $100.00 The cannibal...

Human Life God created the donkey & said to him: “You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years. You will be a donkey. “The donkey answered: “I will be a donkey, but to live 50...

I don't think that the Democrats have found their voice yet, which makes this election wide open so far. What you say about Hillary is correct, but you underestimate the fact that most people don't like her or trust her. Her support so far is just like venting against Bush, that's all (imo)...