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Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false? 1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. 3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years. 4. People do not get...

Pregnant daughter A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the...

THE RED SPOT FINALLY SOMEONE CLEARED THIS UP For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion. The true story has recently been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. When...

ATLANTA GEORGIA This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who has ever lived in Atlanta, has visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who lives in Atlanta, knows anyone who has ever visited Atlanta or anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta, Georgia. Atlanta is composed...

New Bra.......

What religion is your bra? A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. What type of bra?" asked the clerk. Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type? Look around," said the sales lady, as she showed a sea of bras in...

Subject: IRS The Internal Revenue Service sent an auditor to a synagogue. As the auditor reviews all the paperwork, he turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles." "Yes, we do," responded the Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" He...

The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below:

He survived. Below is an actual emergency room photo of a gentleman who lost control of his motorcycle on a country road in West Virginia. Troopers believe that he was traveling at a speed of approximately 75mph at the time of the accident. He was unable to negotiate a curve in the road...

Old Folks Are Funny Too One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge...

A young woman was on vacation and driving through the Everglades. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude...

Words Women Use Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Five Minutes If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before...

As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept saying, 'Relax... you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients'. But another kept reminding me, 'Howard, you are a veterinarian'. :eek:

Pecans in the Cemetery On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,"...

You know you're from Oklahoma if: 1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and Chickasha. 2. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies. 3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel. 4...

There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it. An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached...

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners: 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts...

Oh man oh man....that is really funny! ROFLMAO:D

A guy goes to the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Have you been in the service?" "Yes," he says. "I was in Viet Nam for three years." The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then the interviewer asks, "Are you disabled...

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with Colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as...