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Jokes 2
Promptness Is Vital After his bitter divorce, Joe was known among his friend for the promptness with which he sent his ex-wife her alimony payment each month. When asked the reason for his rush, he shivered and explained, âIâm afraid that if I ever should fall behind in my payments she... -
Jokes 2
Home Alone A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door. It's opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm. Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mom or dad home ?" Little... -
Jokes 2
Those Joysey Gals Three men married wives from different states. The first man married a woman from Alabama. He told her that she was to do the dishes and the house cleaning. It took a couple of days but, on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away... -
Jokes 2
MID-LIFE CRISIS SOLVED After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, âhoney, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21-year-old... -
Jokes 2
At The Bar âIs there anything wrong?â asked bartender of the young, well-dressed customer who sat staring grimly into his drink. âTwo months ago my maternal grandfather died and left me eight hundred thousand dollarsâ said the man. âThat doesnât sound like anything to be... -
Jokes 2
Dear Elite Trader Please be advised that your Optirectomy operation is scheduled for 8:00 tomorrow morning. The purpose of this operation is to sever the cord that connects your eyes to your rectum and, hopefully, get rid of your s***ty outlook on life. It has been noted that you have been... -
Jokes 2
The Great Doctor (3) A promising young doctor had moved into a small town and was setting up a new practice. He had a new sign painted and hung it in front of his office, proclaiming his specialties: "Homosexuals & Hemorrhoids" The town fathers were greatly upset with the sign and asked... -
Jokes 2
The Great Doctor (2) Doctor : After examining your husband, I see that he needs rest and peace, a chance to relax and regain his strength after work. So, here are some sleeping pills. Wife : Thanks Doc, when must I give them to him? Doctor : No, no, they are for you! :) :) :) -
Jokes 2
The Great Doctor A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office. Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be. A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said in amazement: "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"... -
Jokes 2
A Great Oldie: Teachers And Cops TEACHERS go first... These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded. 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2... -
Jokes 2
OOPS! Mr. and Mrs. Thorne had just reached JFK airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their long-awaited, pre-paid, two-weeks vacation in Majorca, Spain. "I wish we'd brought the piano with us," said Mr. Thorne. "What on earth for?" asked his wife. "I've left the tickets on... -
Jokes 2
Career Planning Session A high school student is in the counselorâs office. âSo tell me, what things interest you in terms of a possible career direction? âIâd like to cut people open and run my fingers through their liver and heart!â The counselor chuckles and after a long... -
Jokes 2
Haikus From The Trailer Park Unemploymentâs out Hey, maybe I can get on Disability Distant siren screams Dumb-ass Verneâs been playing with Gasoline again Flashlights pierce the darkness No nightcrawlers to be found Guess weâll gig some frogs Joyous, playful, bright... -
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Substitute Tooth Fairy My wife was leaving for a two-day conference, and my six-year-old daughter, Rebecca, was becoming overly clinging and teary. I was mystified at her unusually emotional reaction to such a common event, until she leaned over and whispered, "Daddy, I have a loose tooth. If... -
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Speaking Out A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. "I'm OK, but I didn't like the four-letter-words the doctor used a few times in surgery, made me feel very uncomfortable," he answered. "Why, what did he say?" "OOPS!!!"...