Yukoner's 2015 Psychological Journal

Yukoner said:
Day #10 -

A bit later an interesting thing happened to me. I was sitting there watching the market, and it was like deja vu... I had seen this before. Felt like I knew exactly what was going to happen next. Get short, and market will drift down another 20 ticks. It was an intuition of some kind... almost like I could see what was going to happen. I never took the trade, because it didn't fit with my plan, but I did watch to see what would happen... and it was exactly that. Interesting.

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Yea, glad you didn't put that trade on, I have done maybe couple thousand trades like this in my journal and almost all of them acted just as I thought, although I tested them and it came out poorly. I sometimes wonder, out of boredom of waiting for a good trading plan signal our brain plays some sick joke on me enticing me to take some trade and only when I have money on it, becomes a loss so Casper the ghost shakes his finger at me saying "Fool, you know that not a good trade". Takes so long to overcome tricks brain tries to make us do, always thinking what side my brain is on, LOL.

Good job.
 
Handle123 said:
I sometimes wonder, out of boredom of waiting for a good trading plan signal our brain plays some sick joke on me enticing me to take some trade and only when I have money on it, becomes a loss so Casper the ghost shakes his finger at me saying "Fool, you know that not a good trade".
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I thought I was the only who felt this way, LOL! Those intuitive non-plan trades all work perfectly unless I'm in them!

:p
 
Day #11 - (Running late, and had a very busy and tiring day... so only now just able to write clearly and in a quiet place.) I slept well, and actually slept in (rare thing), however I broke my routine and checked the market as it was about 10 minutes past open.

Holy smokes, crude has had a huge jump on a day that was expecting a lot of sideways action ahead of EIA. So I compromised on my routine... did part of it... but not all of it. Looking back now, I was fighting FOMO.

I started off waiting for setups, and that was the tough one. For a large part of the day, it seemed like an odd market in crude. Some strange price action. At one point I remember being long in the right spot, and boom... crude drops 25 ticks in a few seconds and then right back up and rallies another 30 ticks... of course I take a big loss.

The fight today was to try and do the right thing... AND trade from a place that didn't have fear. I confess, it was hard. I remember at one point checking my P&L and being down quite a bit for the day... but then I was in a trade that was up almost 15 ticks in my favor, and I so wanted to just close it and take the ticks.... but the plan was to stay in the trade. That was hard to watch it all come back and exit me with a small loss.

A one point, I could really feel the frustration build... especially when down... and I soooo had to fight the feeling of just going in with bigger size. I stayed away from that, and just tried to trade appropriately. Finally I just stopped, as I was worried about risking much more... and it just wasn't my day. Couldn't seem to really connect.

I am trying to push through the fear, and take the trades... and then manage them appropriately. Today was one of those days, that I tried... things just didn't work out.

-930
 
YK

Sure wish you'd get fed up with the mental chaos - and resolve / get past it

But..., until you do - this is what exactly we got....

Absolutely no consistency...., and no check marks

Yippee ki yay

RN
 
You need to concentrate more on fear, you need to listen to your emotions, they are telling you something, more you can understand your fears, the more you can use to your advantage. For me, when I have fears, I add more contracts, when I have excited thoughts= near the extreme/time to greatly decrease contracts-doesn't sound logically, but the markets are opposite of what logics are. What do your fears they you?

"Frustration", is it caused from missing out or something else?

Do the stats say you have more larger bad days than equally great days? Smaller profitable days harder wipe out big loss days.

What does your stats say of the mean profitable amount of ticks?
 
Redneck said:
Expecting to see check mark(s) today YK

RN
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So much for expecting

How about - hoping..., wishing..., praying..., lucky charms..., crossed fingers... and the sort - that today will be check marks


Yes YK - I'm dogging your butt (not one damn ounce of passive / aggressive in me)

I want to you get the internal stuff resolved and get past it


Arguably the hardest part of the year is quickly approaching - and if you're not hitting on all cylinders (or at least most of them) - it is going to be a hell of a lot tougher than it already is

RN
 
Day #12 - Late night here, as my lovely girlfriend threw a surprise party for me tonight. Very cool times, with some close friends out on the deck, and having a lot of fun and good drinks.... however, I still need to journal, so sneaking away.

Today was an interesting day. I did stick with my routine. I didn't drink any coffee until after I left my house.
I put on good trades, but it has become increasingly clear that I am allowing fear of giving back profit to exit my winners prematurely on these days when we really get movement. No checkmark for that.

I find myself continuing to be fearful again. So must work on that.... and must work on congratulating myself when I have done a good job. Thanks @Redneck for pointing out how hard I can be on myself.

I did find myself fighting having a bias. Even when my methodology was showing something different, and that caused me to put on the perfect entry... but the bias affected me to close it early, before it dropped 40 plus ticks to my target.

However, my mental capital feels okay, and I am slammed busy at work... but I am doing much better at managing life. Now, back to the party...

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