Yukoner's 2015 Psychological Journal

I normally trade ES and crude oil in mornings, 75 to 90 minutes of ES and few hours of crude oil. Today was no picnic as usually in ES, Fridays can be tough. Well, am use to Crude not acting like today, and only use 3 different patterns to trade it, so when not much follow through for trend trades, I will use counter trend failures, risk is tight of 10 ticks and can go to better than break even on trades much quicker.

Now here is the thing, I picture myself everyday I am in Vegas at a video poker machine. The big prize is 4800 to one on royal flush, I have a friend who is prof gambler and she just does video poker, she will lose thousands of time as she averages 500 hands an hour, some losing days and some winning days, when she scores royal flush it is over 100k day. So I picture myself at a machine, I am just there to push buttons, I am automatic when it comes to what to do, at least try real hard. Today is no different, I do my job, whether win/lose/BE, I do my job and good things will happen. I don't wonder if method stop working, that is not my job, my job is to perform like a clown at a zoo giving out ballons and do same things each trade to make something, and I don't know how much, not my concern, stick to the rules.

Enjoy and have great weekend.
Handle

Hi,

In the past, you allowed 6.5 minutes for the trade to work. Now, you only allow three one-minute bars. (That is less than three minutes.) You are getting less and less patient.:D

Thanks for the chart, and other information.
 
I normally trade ES and crude oil in mornings, 75 to 90 minutes of ES and few hours of crude oil. Today was no picnic as usually in ES, Fridays can be tough. Well, am use to Crude not acting like today, and only use 3 different patterns to trade it, so when not much follow through for trend trades, I will use counter trend failures, risk is tight of 10 ticks and can go to better than break even on trades much quicker.

Now here is the thing, I picture myself everyday I am in Vegas at a video poker machine. The big prize is 4800 to one on royal flush, I have a friend who is prof gambler and she just does video poker, she will lose thousands of time as she averages 500 hands an hour, some losing days and some winning days, when she scores royal flush it is over 100k day. So I picture myself at a machine, I am just there to push buttons, I am automatic when it comes to what to do, at least try real hard. Today is no different, I do my job, whether win/lose/BE, I do my job and good things will happen. I don't wonder if method stop working, that is not my job, my job is to perform like a clown at a zoo giving out ballons and do same things each trade to make something, and I don't know how much, not my concern, stick to the rules.

Enjoy and have great weekend.
Handle

@Handle123 Thanks for sharing that screenshot and information. Love it... "and I don't know much, not my concern, stick to the rules".
 
Today's readout leaves me in a quandary

There is good
There is bad
There is emotion - leading to a series of internal roller coaster swings
There is diametrically opposed (obviously - duh)

Appears the premise for trading today is PnL ("Feb a whole $6")

Not..., whether you were of sound mind / emotion - and ready to trade

Unfortunate given yesterday a purposeful down day

=================

I would not describe today's trading as good..., nor..., would I describe it as bad

I think tumultuous a better characterization

Tumultuous trading is the most dangerous..., the most draining to one's emotional capital - and leads to shortened careers (it unsustainable)


my job was to take the freakin trade.


Suggest detailing out exactly what your job is (actual trading is but one very small aspect)

Would also suggest getting your trading emotions / mindset normalized (reigned in)


RN



Day #28 (Baby Step #9) - Took a break yesterday, and reflected a lot on what had happened and also on what other traders have been mentioning. Realized that I won't ever be a perfect trader, but I can strive for that... and again, I need to be comfortable with just doing my job.

Then I faced an interesting dilemma, all though small, as of Day #27 I was barely profitable for the whole month. The first two trading days of February absolutely sucked and I was in the hole -1274 at the end of Day #2 and who knows how much mental capital was depleted. So if I didn't trade Friday, I would have a profitable month... a whole $6. :eek:

I asked myself, what would be the purpose of not trading Friday? How would that help me become a better trader? Then I read @Handle123 post where he said... "tomorrow a new day, what are you going to make for us that day?" I realized that I needed to step up, and go do my job, and to hell with the results.

So my focus today was to do my job. It was a tough trading day early on, rangebound, and no real follow through, but I stuck with my plan. Checkmark. Checkmark. I had one trade that I debated if I really deserved the checkmark, but I had done the correct action.

Then later in the day, I was a bit ahead for the day, and there was another trade to take... tempted not to take it, as I was focused now on just having a profitable day... but that wasn't my job, my job was to take the freakin trade. So I did... and it contributed ticks... and now I am down for the day. And man, I felt this wave of emotion hit me... like I needed to revenge trade and get it back. - Pause, now... breath. Hadn't felt that all day.

So a bit later I get another setup, and I get in, and again that emotion really hits me. It was like it was yelling at me that I would lose, the trade wouldn't work, and my hand was hovering over the mouse ready to close it... and I stop, and tell myself to leave it alone... do what you are supposed to do. Stick with the plan!! So I did... and covered it above and beyond the profit zone I was expecting. I do have a rough idea why this emotion kicked in, and will work on that.

After that, decided it is best to call it quits for the day with a winning trade. I walked into the arena of uncertainty... I did my job... I traded well in spite of an emotional highjack. I am very pleased that when that happened, I managed to still just do my job. And secondly, I took an inventory of myself, and I just couldn't stay in that 85% or greater focused mindset. So it was time to call it a day...

Hello sweet weekend!

+133
 
Today's readout leaves me in a quandary

There is good
There is bad
There is emotion - leading to a series of internal roller coaster swings
There is diametrically opposed (obviously - duh)

Appears the premise for trading today is PnL ("Feb a whole $6")

Not..., whether you were of sound mind / emotion - and ready to trade

Unfortunate given yesterday a purposeful down day

=================

I would not describe today's trading as good..., nor..., would I describe it as bad

I think tumultuous a better characterization

Tumultuous trading is the most dangerous..., the most draining to one's emotional capital - and leads to shortened careers (it unsustainable)





Suggest detailing out exactly what your job is (actual trading is but one very small aspect)

Would also suggest getting your trading emotions / mindset normalized (reigned in)


RN

Thanks @Redneck much appreciated Sir.

A had a clue of what might have caused that emotion on the last couple of trades, and after some reflection I believe I have it figured out. It was a change of trading environment. I went from trading at my home office to my business office.... that was the difference. I didn't have that emotion hit me at my home office, but I did at my business office. Even with a door closed, still potential for interruption... so from now on, I won't trade in that environment.

As for the P&L... I am going to go back and reread some of what you and others wrote on this subject. My premise going into trading on Friday, end of month, was to actually not trade P&L... it was more tempting to just not trade at all that day, and be able to say I had dug myself out of a hole. So I started Friday trying to continue to trade the plan, but that was a struggle as the old P&L for the month kept coming into focus throughout my trading day.

At what point is it okay to consider P&L? What would you recommend?

Weekend homework - to work on the list you mentioned.
Much Thanks!
 
END OF MONTH UPDATE:

I want to point out some actions that have made a distinct difference for me this month. Good to journal them, but also may offer some help to other traders out there.

1) I hit a point where I was frustrated, and in that place I had to humble myself enough to realize I needed to go back to the basics.

2) Doing that, stripped away most expectations, and specifically the fact that I kept trading each day trying to make more and more ticks and swinging for the fences. (Frustrated that I wasn't further along with profit and passing the combine) Now I could just focus on making good trades.

3) A simple Checkmark! - Inserting this simple checkmark routine into my existing trading behavior has made a substantial difference in the outcomes. I didn't try to force myself to change the habit loop, but I inserted a routine that has helped to change the outcome.

4) Meditation - I also added this pre-market routine prior to turning on the computer. For me, this involves reading some Bible and saying a prayer. I find it centers me and helps to relax.

5) Tremendous help from @Redneck , @Handle123 , @monoid , and @NoDoji in their consistent comments throughout my journal. Things I can go back and reread over and over until it sinks in...

6) Which has now lead me to adjust my focus to simply doing my job correctly, rather than the previous focus which was on profit and loss.

7) Getting back to the basics, has also helped me to be content with whatever happened that day. Before, I would be up $600, but that wasn't good enough, I wanted more... now I get up $200 and I am just pleased if I have been trading correctly, and should be happy to call it a day if my time is up.

8) Decreasing my daily loss limit from $1000 to $400. Now one single day doesn't wipe out a week of work.

9) Being honest with myself. You can't cheat at this. You are your own best friend, and you owe it to yourself to be totally honest with your performance. It sounds easy, but it isn't... our brain creates all sorts of self-defense mechanisms to avoid pain/disappointment/change...

10) I've really tried to focus on being more consistent. To learn to love consistency

11) Past performance is not indicative of future results. This reminds me that each day is fresh and new. Just because I struggled with something yesterday, doesn't mean I need to struggle with it today.... and just because I did awesome at something yesterday, doesn't mean I will do awesome today.

12) I've been working harder on just being an observer. Staying neutral. Just have "working assumptions" about the market. My version of right and wrong is changing to.... Did I execute the correct actions or not? So it doesn't matter what the outcome of the trade is, as long as the correct actions were taken. Powerful, the mindset this starts to create when you look at the markets.

13) Finally, I have fought my "monkey" brain to stay on the winning side of probabilities. I can't cut that trade short, cause I screw up my probabilities. Even after so many mistakes this month, February, the probabilities still caught up to me... and I was on the right side, and a total of 12 trading days netted out positive $138.

Thanks to all who have contributed to this journal, and those who read it!

Good Trades,
Yukoner
 
Yukoner:

I have been thinking about your post. Your point #5 (took a trade not in my methodology) was just unbelievable to me. I know I have already mentioned it in an earlier post, and am repeating myself, but that is how much this point bothers me. This is much more than the emotions related to looking at PnL, in my opinion. It is one thing for a trader to be afraid to take a trade 'cos of the fear of losing, but to take a trade not even in the plan -- it is, I don't know what!

I was trying to think why one would ever do it. What I could come up was that your trading plan might not be completely defined. I could be wrong here, but can you please share with us the details to which your trading plan is documented? I do not care for your secret sauce, but I would be interested to know how much detail there is. Even an outline of the headlines in the documentation would help. In my mind, I keep thinking that if a trading plan is specific (which is how it ought to be), there arises no questions of shooting from the hip, which seem to occur only when one is even moderately guessing on entries/exits when in a trade.

I am sorry, but I am still unable to shake this point #5 out of my head. Trying to see how I could be of help on that point. Maybe @Redneck has some specific thoughts?

Rooting for you. All the best.

Edit: In the interest of being open, I am attaching a trading plan for one of the sequences I trade. The reason my trading plan is this way is 'cos that is how my mind works!

Regards,
Monoid.
 

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At what point is it okay to consider P&L?

What would you recommend?

Never

PnL is used to measure where you are..., and if you should proceed (similar to a go - no go - gauge)


Some will say;

PnL should be used to determine if/ when losses are enough - trading should be halted for the day - and I wouldn't disagree

and / or

If the profit target hit - trading should stop for the day - and I wouldn't disagree


But to allow PnL to be considered / factored in - in any way..., shape..., or form - beyond -> go - no go

Is wrong thinking imo

We must totally detach our self from the money aspect - and trade only if/ when we are fully prepared - (there is no we in PnL - not meant as a joke either)

RN
 
Yukoner:

I have been thinking about your post. Your point #5 (took a trade not in my methodology) was just unbelievable to me.

I am sorry, but I am still unable to shake this point #5 out of my head. Trying to see how I could be of help on that point.

Maybe Redneck has some specific thoughts?

Regards,
Monoid.


Yukoner is trading from an emotional foundation

When one trades from this - nothing should come as a surprise..., nor unbelievable

He enters an uncertain environment (the mkt) - and uses a random variable (emotional swings) as his foundational base of operation (trading)

=================================

Until he normalizes his emotions - every day will be a crap shoot

And throughout the day - the roller coaster (hi / lo swings) ride will continue

RN
 
Yukoner is trading from an emotional foundation

When one trades from this - nothing should come as a surprise..., nor unbelievable

He enters an uncertain environment (the mkt) - and uses a random variable (emotional swings) as his foundational base of operation (trading)

=================================

Until he normalizes his emotions - every day will be a crap shoot

And throughout the day - the roller coaster (hi / lo swings) ride will continue

RN

Hated hearing this, but sucked it up, left the house early and now quietly sitting here reading the workbook NoDoji recommended... "Thoughts and Feelings".
Working through it... And yes, I can now see this much clearer, and I quote:

"Worry thoughts anticipating danger" and "they set the panic cycle into motion" and then I feel "an intensification of physiological symptoms called the fight or flight response" which leads to "have catastrophic thoughts about your..." trading. Those "catastrophic thoughts cause the release of adrenaline, signalling your body to intensify its preparations for danger".
"From here the cycle gathers momentum..."

"The key is to stop focusing on and buying into catastrophic thoughts and other thoughts that maintain anxiety."

Quoted from "Thoughts and Feelings - taking control of your moods and your life"
 
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Hated hearing this, but sucked it up, left the house early and now quietly sitting here reading the workbook NoDoji recommended... "Thoughts and Feelings".
Working through it... And yes, I can now see this much clearer, and I quote:

"Worry thoughts anticipating danger" and "they set the panic cycle into motion" and then I feel "an intensification of physiological symptoms called the fight or flight response" which leads to "have catastrophic thoughts about your..." trading. Those "catastrophic thoughts cause the release of adrenaline, signalling your body to intensify its preparations for danger".
"From here the cycle gathers momentum..."

"The key is to stop focusing on and buying into catastrophic thoughts and other thoughts that maintain anxiety."

Quoted from "Thoughts and Feelings - taking control of your moods and your life"


There is actually a 3rd response..., seldom mentioned..., but imo more pervasive in trading


Fight..., Flight..., or Freeze

Just something to be aware of as we're monitor our selves


Keep on Truckin Yukoner

This shit was easy - it be all the rage ;)

RN
 
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