Yukoner,
What do you mean by I am allowed three trades ???
Reality is that you have nothing in place to enforce or ensure that you will NOT break that rule or any other rule. Currently, you're amongst a large number of traders that are not able to follow their own trading plan (rules) due to lack of discipline regardless to the reasons.
You have proven again and again you'll eventually break your rules without any type of in person supervision.
Therefore, as I've already stated a few times earlier in your journals...you need in person help where someone sits side by side with you while you're trading...someone right there in person with you. This person doesn't need to know your trade strategy. In contrast, this person needs to know the details of your trading plan that manages your trade strategy. For example, as soon as you complete trade number three...this person will demand (politely) that you must close your broker platform.
The reason why you need in person help is because your words, goals, desires, sticky notes on the monitors, psych coach (telephone or online) isn't enough motivation to instill consistent discipline. Think about this very carefully. You've had years of behaviors and beliefs instilled in you from in person interactions/beliefs since childhood...they are embedded in all of your senses until the day you die.
You need help from similar type of in person interaction while you're trading that will instill new behaviors that will encourage discipline trading...resulting in consistent profits. This in my opinion is the only solution remaining if you want to break the consistent ugly cycle you're stuck within because your words, goals, sticky notes on the monitors, talks on the telephone or online with your psych coach is just not good enough...so far...these are just self promises New Years like resolutions that just doesn't work unless someone else is interacting with you in person to help you apply your trading plan.
In professional sports, when a losing team or individual is in a rut...heads start to roll. They bring in new help, new faces to interact with the team or player to enforce discipline and to enforce a plan that has been outline for success. The same is true with any corporate business...they hire people to specifically ensure the job is done properly. Those that don't are often at great risk of losing out to their competitors that do.
Its time for you to start behaving like a professional and properly fix your problem...find someone to sit with you while you're trading...someone you've educated about your trading plan and given them the right (signed agreement may be necessary in your situation) to enforce your trading plan rules (e.g. I am allowed only three trades per day, stop trading if loss exceeds $500 in a day and so on).
Without the in person help, you will not have done the best you can do because you have failed at using the most obvious solution that any professional trader would have applied at this point in their career. Please take my advice because you're fooling yourself if you think you can trade OPM or trade your own account professionally without any oversight from others...you can not successfully trade via words and wishes alone.
Friday, your job is to search and find someone in your neighborhood, city or nearby community to come to your home every day and sit with you in person while you trade...someone that has an interest in trading. Don't take another trade until you find that in person help to enforce and instill new behaviours involving your discipline so that you can succeed in trading if you're serious about being a professional trader.
Now go tell someone your trading plan and let them enforce it...in person.
P.S. Ignore the above advice if trading is just a hobby, academic pursuit or just a game of psycho analysis for you to determine whom you are as a person. Simply, deep down in that subconscious of yours...there really is no professional goal.
Ok, after I calmed down from wanting to reach through the monitor and grab you by the throat... and 48 hours have past, and I read your post a few more times... first, let me say thank you. I am grateful for your advice.
What you are talking about is accountability. I get that. It is an intriguing idea. I live in one of the retirement destinations of Canada, so for sure there would be a bored old timer around who would love to learn how to daytrade oil. My concern is what happens in the future when that old timer isn't there? Is the new behavior instilled going to work in times of high stress when there isn't any oversight from others? Will I have instilled the discipline that will protect the trading plan?
Believe me, I am fucking serious about what I am trying to accomplish. For months I have been getting up at around 5:00 am following a routine, honestly journaling what I am doing, and trying to learn and improve.... then I go run a business and work a full day, and raise two teenagers single handedly... but each night before I go to bed I do my market homework and plan out the next day's trading. This isn't a video game for me.
For now, I am back to the basics. I am not a trader. I am a rookie. I don't deserve to trade OPM. I am not qualified right now to even trade my own money.
Trading 101, and I am taking baby steps. Each day, I just want to focus on this new routine in my trading behavior.... "Perfect execution of the process of that single trade", and then put a check mark in my trading journal.
Good Trades (and thanks),
Yukoner