Women and life balance

S

SillyWilly

Hey everyone I need some life advice from experienced traders who have most likely gone through what I am going through.

I am currently going through a phase where all I care about is trading, I don't go out anymore, I am putting my great job (financial advisor at a big 5 bank In canada) at risk by putting paper work and boring client stuff aside to trade my personal account during market hours. I am a young guy 23, 6'2 and have no problem getting laid (my trick is just ask questions and when asked a question I always answer with a question, girls love talking...a little trick that works for me) however I am tired of these weekend affairs but I know that I will not be able to hold down a serious relationship as I would show no interest in a girl right now.

I am spending my days trading and my nights doing math and back testing while absorbing as much finance info as I can at the expense of family and friends.

Anyway I saw my friends for the first time in 2 months and I had to take a look at my life. I am very passionate about trading and I am sure some of you have gone through what I am going through. The ones that have wives and kids, how do you hold that down? Any advice would be insightful as if I do not fix this problem I will end up being a successful trader with no friends or family and that is something I know will bite me in the ass in the long run. I know there are no bunk beds in the graveyard and to make it in this world you have to sacrifice but maybe there are alternatives.....please try not to troll as this is a very serious topic for me and it feels like I am not myself anymore. Thanks.
 
It doesn’t work like that.
You’ll fail a thousand times before you ever become profitable actively trading.
Investing in crypto, stocks, and commodities are a whole different ball game.

Unless you know someone who can curb your learning curve it’s going to be rough for a few years.

It’s your choice to make, but it took me thousands and thousand of hours to trade for a living. It’s basically asking if you can have work life balance while you train to become a neurosurgeon. No, you cannot.

For me, it was worth the time.
But, to each his own.
 
DeltaRisk said:
It doesn’t work like that.
You’ll fail a thousand times before you ever become profitable actively trading.
Investing in crypto, stocks, and commodities are a whole different ball game.

Unless you know someone who can curb your learning curve it’s going to be rough for a few years.

It’s your choice to make, but it took me thousands and thousand of hours to trade for a living. It’s basically asking if you can have work life balance while you train to become a neurosurgeon. No, you cannot.

For me, it was worth the time.
But, to each his own.
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A neurosurgeon needs to be in the hospital day in day out if he/she will be successful. An athlete needs to be playing with the best to keep competitive. I don't know anyone my age who wants to talk about trading skew, one of my colleagues said today and I quote "Iron condors are the holy grail of trading". Delta Risk where were you when you developed your passion for the market? Were you on a trading desk and if you weren't who were you talking to to bounce back ideas with? How did you manage work while all you could think about was trading?
 
SillyWilly said:
Hey everyone I need some life advice from experienced traders who have most likely gone through what I am going through.

I am currently going through a phase where all I care about is trading, I don't go out anymore, I am putting my great job (financial advisor at a big 5 bank In canada) at risk by putting paper work and boring client stuff aside to trade my personal account during market hours. I am a young guy 23, 6'2 and have no problem getting laid (my trick is just ask questions and when asked a question I always answer with a question, girls love talking...a little trick that works for me) however I am tired of these weekend affairs but I know that I will not be able to hold down a serious relationship as I would show no interest in a girl right now.
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You said it yourself "I would show no interest in a girl right now." If you show no interest in a girl, WHY waste her time to pretend you are interested in her?

My advice: Concentrate your energy and time on the things that you ARE interested in which to you right now is trading. Trading takes a LOT of focus. Focus on that. Get a profitable trading plan going. Trade on it to build up some consistent profit. And then when you ready, you start looking for some relationship. I always find it's more prudent and responsible to start a relationship when you are emotionally ready for it otherwise it's not fair to yourself or to the other person. It's never too late to start a relationship for a man. Men can get married, have a family and kids any time in a life. Don't listen to those theory that men's got a biological clock too; to me that's just scare tactics to tie down a men to a relationship. If you are not ready, you are not ready, for whatever reason. As long you stay healthy, your babies would be fine. Men father perfectly healthy babies even in their 80's. There is no hurry. But it is important to establish a comfortable financial situation early on in your life otherwise even if you are in a relationship, it would still pose challenges. It is true when they say true love is not dependent on riches but money does help make things go smoother.

Good luck!
 
JSOP said:
You said it yourself "I would show no interest in a girl right now." If you show no interest in a girl, WHY waste her time to pretend you are interested in her?

My advice: Concentrate your energy and time on the things that you ARE interested in which to you right now is trading. Trading takes a LOT of focus. Focus on that. Get a profitable trading plan going. Trade on it to build up some consistent profit. And then when you ready, you start looking for some relationship. I always find it's more prudent and responsible to start a relationship when you are emotionally ready for it otherwise it's not fair to yourself or to the other person. It's never too late to start a relationship for a man. Men can get married, have a family and kids any time in a life. Don't listen to those theory that men's got a biological clock too; to me that's just scare tactics to tie down a men to a relationship. If you are not ready, you are not ready, for whatever reason. As long you stay healthy, your babies would be fine. Men father perfectly healthy babies even in their 80's. There is no hurry. But it is important to establish a comfortable financial situation early on in your life otherwise even if you are in a relationship, it would still pose challenges. It is true when they say true love is not dependent on riches but money does help make things go smoother.

Good luck!
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Hey thanks for a GREAT response JSOP. Your absolutely right, after all men age like fine wine if you take care of yourself. What was it like on your way up the latter? Did you start working on a desk when you got out of school?
 
I would suggest keeping away from girls who are happy and fulfilled through weekend affairs. Waste of a whole weekend. And not the sort of person you might want to spend decades of your future life with. You could just pay for sex like a gentleman and then go off and do other things.

When you are ready to find a life partner, you will meet one.

As for friends, don't ever talk trading with "civilians". They will NOT understand but they WILL judge.

New friends are easy to make if you're open, but, again, you will feel the right time. You can't start making friends now on the basis that you might need them one day, they're not a savings account, true friends are not to be used as a resource this way.
 
SillyWilly said:
Hey thanks for a GREAT response JSOP. Your absolutely right, after all men age like fine wine if you take care of yourself. What was it like on your way up the latter? Did you start working on a desk when you got out of school?
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Yup desk job until I've had enough and then started trading and never looked back.
 
tomorton said:
As for friends, don't ever talk trading with "civilians". They will NOT understand but they WILL judge.
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When you are not successful, they judge. When you've made some profit, they envy and at the same time think it won't last and you will crash soon. I've seen it all. LOL
 
JSOP said:
When you are not successful, they judge. When you've made some profit, they envy and at the same time think it won't last and you will crash soon. I've seen it all. LOL
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Hmm honestly if that happens to your close friends then you need better friends. My best friends all knew I was probably going to be richer than them when they saw my determination in trading and that was before I made a single cent and had no problems with it.

Strangers and acquaintances perhaps will judge, but who cares about them.

I think there is less judgement nowadays as almost everyday people hear about the crypto hype from the media and probably believe there are are a fair few "kids" who've retired from the markets from windfalls.
 
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