why we think they way we do and do what we do

O

olias

I'd like to hear from other people on this. I'm looking to have my eyes opened. In this past year it has really dawned on me the extent to which we do things solely because we have been told 'this is the thing to do', or simply by observing what other people do, we do the same without stopping to wonder, 'does this make sense?' 'Why am I doing this?'. Same thing with beliefs and values. So many of our beliefs and values, it seems to me, come down to nothing more than customs. In other words we have deeply head beliefs that, when it comes right down to it, we can't justify why we feel that way.

I hope I'm making my point here.

I'm hoping we don't get bogged down debating the beliefs themselves. I just want people to give examples of their own experience so that hopefully we can learn from each other.

My own examples: I've always believed that polygamy was 'wrong'. Being married to 1 person for your whole life was 'good'. After reflection I can't justify why I felt that way. I guess it's just what I've always been told, and I am accustomed to.

Similar to my thoughts on gays/being gay. I was raised to think that it is 'evil' or 'wrong'. Reflecting on it I can't find any harm in it whatsoever. The only viable reason someone can tell me it's wrong is because someone wrote it in a book once that supposedly God said so. Sorry that is not enough reason for me. If that was enough justification for me to think what is right or wrong then the world is in a lot of trouble. Any joker can write something in a book and say 'God told me to write this'.

I don't want to debate my beliefs here. I'll do that in other threads. I'm just looking for input from other thoughtful people who have had similar realizations.
 
Quote from olias:

I'd like to hear from other people on this. I'm looking to have my eyes opened. In this past year it has really dawned on me the extent to which we do things solely because we have been told 'this is the thing to do', or simply by observing what other people do, we do the same without stopping to wonder, 'does this make sense?' 'Why am I doing this?'. Same thing with beliefs and values. So many of our beliefs and values, it seems to me, come down to nothing more than customs. In other words we have deeply head beliefs that, when it comes right down to it, we can't justify why we feel that way.

I hope I'm making my point here.

I'm hoping we don't get bogged down debating the beliefs themselves. I just want people to give examples of their own experience so that hopefully we can learn from each other.

My own examples: I've always believed that polygamy was 'wrong'. Being married to 1 person for your whole life was 'good'. After reflection I can't justify why I felt that way. I guess it's just what I've always been told, and I am accustomed to.

Similar to my thoughts on gays/being gay. I was raised to think that it is 'evil' or 'wrong'. Reflecting on it I can't find any harm in it whatsoever. The only viable reason someone can tell me it's wrong is because someone wrote it in a book once that supposedly God said so. Sorry that is not enough reason for me. If that was enough justification for me to think what is right or wrong then the world is in a lot of trouble. Any joker can write something in a book and say 'God told me to write this'.

I don't want to debate my beliefs here. I'll do that in other threads. I'm just looking for input from other thoughtful people who have had similar realizations.
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Monogamy and heterosexuality is not right or wrong,just a more natural thing to do than being gay or polygamous. You "plug" better with a woman( LOL ), our union is made to procreate... And if you are not an asshole there is one moment when you will start to have feelings for the girl you procreate with and choose monogamy... Plus your children will be happy to have their parents together, here it is right( not natural ) to try to stay monogamous for your children.
 
damn, I'm not getting much to sink my teeth into here, so let me elaborate on my ideas about monogamy.

If monogamy is 'good' then it should apply universally. But what if you have a society where women outnumber men 10:1? Is it 'good' that only 10% of the women have love? In this case what is wrong with a man trying to love multiple women? What's the harm here? I don't see it.

We can argue about which is better, but I can no longer dismiss the idea of polygamy as 'evil' or 'bad'. It's nothing more than a custom.
 
if i could suck my own dick i'd never leave the house

-andrew dice clay

imgres
 
Quote from olias:

damn, I'm not getting much to sink my teeth into here, so let me elaborate on my ideas about monogamy.

If monogamy is 'good' then it should apply universally. But what if you have a society where women outnumber men 10:1? Is it 'good' that only 10% of the women have love? In this case what is wrong with a man trying to love multiple women? What's the harm here? I don't see it.

We can argue about which is better, but I can no longer dismiss the idea of polygamy as 'evil' or 'bad'. It's nothing more than a custom.
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Alot of what your'e examining has its machinations and advocacy around customs and traditions. People side with their own kind for safety and comfort to begin with then it broadens into position jockeying for power and leadership. What can you do, people have the freedom of choice until a new power manifest
is sided with and attempts to impose their beliefs on everyone.
The Golden Rule seems to get it right as a guideline for how to make judgements, as if it were hard wired into the DNA ...perfectly intuitive. We're damned lucky to have the ivory tower catbird seat of being in America and observing how the rest of the world has to endure ...well, you know. My biggest headache right now? I wish I had sold LVS before the earnings report. ....shit, small (s)!
 
Takes me back to college philosophy classes. Whether reading Diogenes humor, or Socrates search for the wisdom of others.

When I was very young, 4 or 5, I would see other kids picking on another kid. I didn't add to the picking on, but didn't stop it either. Was I wrong to not intervene? Was I afraid? Probably afraid, and probably not wrong in some cases, perhaps wrong in other cases. Later, at about 13-14, I would intervene if I was pretty sure I could win or at least cause enough commotion to scare the others off. Did my thinking change or was I just more contemplative in my decision making regarding my own well being?

Can't strike a woman? Of course. Ok to strike another guy? Maybe. Only if provoked? Maybe. Pre-emptive strike? Sometimes.

Soldier cannot question superiors, right? Not so much after the My Laid massacre in Viet Nam.

Don't use the Lord's name in vain? Maybe, but whose "Lord?" Notice I didn't say "who's Lord" - as in is there a God. Why do I capitalize God when referring to "my" God, but only "god" when referring to someone else's god?

This can go on and on.

My feelings are to question yourself and others at all times, but take it upon yourself to educate yourself with facts, from both sides. Sounds so simple, yet so few bother. Prefering to just go with whatever they feel at the time.

I like the medical ethic of First do no harm. Makes sense to me most the time.

When it all boils down, no one can tell someone else how to feel or what they think. Yes, we have all been brainwashed to some degree, but when someone says that I must feel the same way, well, maybe not so much my friend.

Then there's that darned old tree falling in the forest with no one around.




c
 
I went to live abroad for a few years when I was younger, partly to understand what it's like for so many people who come to the US and try to get by. I agree with OP because it seemed like almost all common sense was inverted. Everybody ate with spoons instead of forks, I thought they were were all like children, but as I tried it, it was a lot more practical. I was taught toilet paper belongs in the restroom, to clean the dirty side, and you peel it off from the outside. There, they pull the cardboard out of the center, pull the tissue out from the center, and put it on the dinner table and use it to wipe the mouth, and you're lucky to find any in the restroom. I have no strong opinion which way is better, but pulling the cardboard out is a bit tough so I don't prefer it.

Made me come to the OP's conclusion -- most things I believed were simply because that's what I was taught from the random process of where I was born. I tried some of their ways, and some were good and useful, so I took them on; some others were silly wastes of time and ridiculously inefficient, so I kept my own ways.

I saw an anthropologist's lecture (forgot his name though) who said that's what we can gain from humanity having different cultures. Each culture answers "what is it to be human?" and "how do we survive?" and "how do we view reality in view of those two questions?" The benefit is reality does not have to be what you have learned; a different culture may have a better view you can choose to adopt; and hopefully you get the perspective to reject bad views from other cultures and/or your own.
 
I think we live our life in confirmation bias. It's comfortable and secure and meets our needs. Then wonder why we are bored or unhappy.

Can we believe two things at the same time? Will we lose our identity by believing in two things at once?

What role do principles play in who we are?

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" I was raised to think that it is 'evil' or 'wrong'. Reflecting on it I can't find any harm in it whatsoever."

Nice thought. Do we need to extrapolate the consequences to the most minute detail until we have a one size fits all model? I don't think so.

Nor do I believe this line of thought would compromise our principles by accepting two conflicting ideas at once.

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Personally I've left the world of confirmation bias, the ability to grow comes from embracing counter intutitive thoughts.
 
Quote from twofacedjoker:

Because it is easier to go along with the crowd. In trading, we call that trading with the trend. :D
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4 out of 5 stocks follow the market.

"Adages" blow. :cool: :D
 
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