Dear Abby:
I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed
as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia
and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a
transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for
growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other
two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City.
I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence
in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994.The other brother is currently
being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of sexual misconduct
with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute
who lives in the Bronx and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel.
Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel
with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be
interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to
prostitute
themselves, it would get them off the street, and hopefully, their heroin
habits.
All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancee
and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly
want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my distant
cousin who is French?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
