but I guess I'm more annoyed at the noise of the market because in my head i have this assumption that, the market should respect a certain level, and when it does wick past it and then close below, it messes with my head.
This is the price you pay for trading the NQ. I sympathize 100% with you as I see this over and over again with the NQ. The ES is better behaved I would say in that it takes much more momentum to move it past areas that you think it shouldn't move past.
I think some of the reason why this is is simply liquidity. It sometimes only takes dozens, well less than 100 contracts, to blow through several levels. Whereas the NQ might spike 2-3 points, the ES will move 1 tick.
Also, often, in my opinion, NQ will breach or overshoot a level simply because ES still needs to reach its level. (ie. test of some level, test of a swing point, test of a high liquidity level). In this case, one market is dragged along with the other market to make this happen, and then both can drop or rise.