Why aren't there Crematory franchises?

nitro

nitro

With an aging population in the US, I am wondering why there aren't franchise crematorium the way there are Subway, McDonalds, etc?

I wonder what the catchy phrases they would use:

-Do you want that toasted?
-Satisfaction guaranteed.
-No shoes, no shirt, no service.
-But if you order now, we will incenirate your wife for free. That's right, two incenerations for the price of one. Amazing!

etc...
 
Shouldn't that be "No shoes, no shirt, no problem"?
Oh wait, there's a joke in there...no service..as in Funeral Service..ok ..I"m dense.:D
 
Quote from nitro:

With an aging population in the US, I am wondering why there aren't franchise crematorium the way there are Subway, McDonalds, etc?
More...


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Welcome to McCrematory. Please deposit your dead relatives body at the gate. We have several burial packages available for your consideration.

Platinum is our best package. It includes an extra comfy looking padded premium oak casket. A premium burial plot at the McCrematory Cemetary is included. Also premium body preparation for your dead relative. Finally cookies and fries are provided to guests attending the viewing service at our mortuary.

We also offer gold, silver, and if you really hate your relative, bronze packages. Please talk to a representative for more information. For franchise opportunities, please call 1-800-MY-OWN-MORGUE.
 
What songs would they offer to play at the cremation?

"Another one bites the dust" - Queen
"Staying Alive" - Bee Gees
"Burn baby burn" - Ash
 
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