Who's been through an IRS audit?

Quote from NY0BScalper:
If you have less than 8 monitors, you can't claim trader status.
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Do the little monitors on my iPod, iPhone, iFridge, iAlarm Clock, iDashboard, iBox and iWatch count? :p

iDon't believe they do. :(
 
Yes they show up at your house after following you for a few days. Then they have a threat assessment team move in with AR-15's and complete tactical weapon makeup. Don't worry, you'll know they're there when u hear the helicopters overhead.

Here are a few pointers to help u thru this difficult time:
1) Try to have some sort of sedative for your dog if you have one since they freak out when they see the guys with the burka's on. Also maybe a few for the wife and kids.
2) Try to answer the door before they ring your bell --this way it lessens the chance that they'll fire tear gas canisters into your living room.
3) Wear conservative clothing and as soon as you answer the door--spin around and pull your shirt up so they can see you're not armed. Aslo make sure that there are no toy guns and such laying around that the kids can accidentally aim at them--that's the worst!
4) After they see you pose no threat-slowly...I repeat...s l o w l y back up and pull your wifes clothes down and have her spin around so they can also see shes not packin.
5) Have the Mrs. cook up something really special --but not too extravegant as the IRS boys will think you're hiding money if its filet mignon or something like that.
6)See if u can borrow a co-workers car to put in the garage if you have a really nice car yourself. Pick a brutha or a co-worker of hispanic descent as they usually have the ghetto -style shitboxes that'll give you an edge and "mistakenly" open the gargage door so that the Feds can see what a pice of shit it is. That''ll go in you're favor trust me.

Oh..... and make sure you have rider insurance so that when u give Juan or LeRoy your ride when you borrow theirs youre covered.

Hope this helps.. and good luck..
 
Quote from dajuicer:

Yes they show up at your house after following you for a few days. Then they have a threat assessment team move in with AR-15's and complete tactical weapon makeup. Don't worry, you'll know they're there when u hear the helicopters overhead.

Here are a few pointers to help u thru this difficult time:
1) Try to have some sort of sedative for your dog if you have one since they freak out when they see the guys with the burka's on. Also maybe a few for the wife and kids.
2) Try to answer the door before they ring your bell --this way it lessens the chance that they'll fire tear gas canisters into your living room.
3) Wear conservative clothing and as soon as you answer the door--spin around and pull your shirt up so they can see you're not armed. Aslo make sure that there are no toy guns and such laying around that the kids can accidentally aim at them--that's the worst!
4) After they see you pose no threat-slowly...I repeat...s l o w l y back up and pull your wifes clothes down and have her spin around so they can also see shes not packin.
5) Have the Mrs. cook up something really special --but not too extravegant as the IRS boys will think you're hiding money if its filet mignon or something like that.
6)See if u can borrow a co-workers car to put in the garage if you have a really nice car yourself. Pick a brutha or a co-worker of hispanic descent as they usually have the ghetto -style shitboxes that'll give you an edge and "mistakenly" open the gargage door so that the Feds can see what a pice of shit it is. That''ll go in you're favor trust me.

Oh..... and make sure you have rider insurance so that when u give Juan or LeRoy your ride when you borrow theirs youre covered.

Hope this helps.. and good luck..
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that's kinda funny.
 
4 and couting...here's a word of advice....NEVER EVER take an extension on your taxes.....They know roughly how much you owe and if you get cute and say " Im gonna make them wait for their $$"....they bring out the wooden stick and look at past years as well...One thing though...Don;t beleive all this TV and Movie shit about the IRS...They actually have become much more helpful and will make any sort of arrangement provided you pay somthing.....Psssst....I have another secret.....( im looking both ways now to see if anyone is watching or listneing...)

....NEVER EVER put self employed, sales, or independently wealthy under occupation.....BAD...VERY BAD:mad: :mad: :mad:
 
Quote from TM_Direct:

4 and couting...here's a word of advice....NEVER EVER take an extension on your taxes.....They know roughly how much you owe and if you get cute and say " Im gonna make them wait for their $$"....they bring out the wooden stick and look at past years as well...One thing though...Don;t beleive all this TV and Movie shit about the IRS...They actually have become much more helpful and will make any sort of arrangement provided you pay somthing.....Psssst....I have another secret.....( im looking both ways now to see if anyone is watching or listneing...)

....NEVER EVER put self employed, sales, or independently wealthy under occupation.....BAD...VERY BAD:mad: :mad: :mad:
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When you take an extension you send a check for "roughly how much you owe".
 
I've been "examined" twice. An examination is one step below an audit, but an examination is done by mail.

I'm not going to get into why I was examined the first time, about fifteen years ago. I wasn't as smart as I thought I was and they weren't as dumb as I thought they were. :p

But the second time was simply an error on my part. I hadn't noticed that I calculated my proceeds incorrectly, so it of course didn't match up to the 1099-B that my broker sent. That mismatch triggered the examination. I actually got a refund back, plus over $30 of interest. (BTW, the IRS 1099'd me on that interest the next year).
 
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