Since you don't seem to actually plan on learning anything, why don't you by a degree? Or go to a printer and have them make a high quality fake diploma and credentials. DO a Google search, I have to believe there are plenty of fake Universities you can by a degree from. Then again also be prepared for your employer or whoever you need this for to do a background check and fire your stupid ass. Background checks are a lot easier now, and picking off phony educational credits is one of the easy ones.