<i>"I have no time to take on any new clients so please don't email asking for consultation"</i>
Oh fiddlefaddle... I was sure counting on you helping me cope with my losses & failures. Of course I cannot afford to pay you up front all at once, cash on the barrelhead. You wouldn't expect that from a flailing daytrader anyway, I s'pose.
I do have a right-fine collection of muskrat, coon and possum pelts hanging in my garage right now, and that is no joke, mister. You are right welcome to the whole kit & kaboodle of 'um as payment in full if you ever find room to squeeze one more patient into your impressive schedule.
Gratefully yours