What is your single biggest fear in life?

heypa said:
Redneck., I read that book while in college for a quick read and a quicker book report back in the late 40's.had only an hour to read and write the report. That poor guy.Kinda like Mr. Roberts.It did have an impact.Hadn't thought of it since. Not a pleasant memory. At 89 my biggest concern not fear is to become totally dependent on someone else directly. We are all dependent on others for our very survival, but it is so indirect we aren't aware.
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Hey Heypa

I agree - what gets me (I fear) is the total deprivation of all external stimuli

No sight
No taste
No sound
No smell
Felling is only dull - unless it pain
No mobility

I'm comfortable inside my mind - but damned if I want to be trapped there - never experiencing anything external but pain

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89 years young - keep raisin hell Sir :)

I figure we only get old once we stop moving

RN
 
I once had the written goal of aging gracefully.

That becomes more complex than you’d think. According to the Brain Injury Association of Arizona If you live to be 50 you will have had a 50:50 chance of having a clinically treatable brain injury. A 30% chance of having 2 or more…

Concussions, strokes, or in my case high fevers… lots can happen. Fortunately the brain can heal much more than we thought – with help.

Not aging gracefully might be something to fear.


I also have chronic pain. When that is in the foreground, screw everything else as an issue.


On the other hand, one of the best things I ever did was participate in the human potential movement via George Adair and Sandy Mason in Phoenix. Learned how to radically change my POV. To see more than one side of an issue. To be able to answer the question: “is it true?” about many things with some clarity, at least for myself. Byron Katie’s work helped there also.

I don’t know that it is exactly a fear, but seeing less opportunity to do the difficult inner things… as I age…

Those oh-so-difficult inner shifts have been the priceless treasures of life (along with family and love and work).

Come to think of it the opportunities are not less with age. They are just different.


I’ve been sent home to die in 2 -3 months with “intractable pain”. Decades ago. After that happens a time or two the fear fades. Life become sweet. What more can you say?
 
It's strange but I don't fear getting old. I've seen grandparents and their kin take care of great-grandparents, and then parents take care of grandparents in their old and weak stages. Yes, it's a bit of work and effort but in a similar vein I and other family members are lending a helping hand to a generation above us. Heck, even my in-laws are not beyond this circle and I fully expect to take care of them as they age.

All these extended family business causes different kinds of frictions, interferences, and struggles for control. Yet, it is also an opportunity to discover oneself. This behavior propelled me to find a way to have better emotional response and sent me on a journey to improve as a person. Isolation does give an illusion of control but true freedom comes when one's only focused on personal growth and now how others could be changed.

Somewhere in The Intimate Enemy (not fully read yet) the author mentions the difference between older communities and newer isolated households. In older neighborhoods or villages everyone would know about another's business which would be intrusive but would facilitate stress reduction as a result of people talking. More recently people are isolated and keeping things to themselves and without much outlet for heart to heart communication. This is leading them to feel isolated, alone, and without hope.

Death has given me fear and anguish. There was a time when I would feel at times as if I was about to take the last breath of my life. The terror of it was debilitating. Eventually I realized it was only happening when I would be about to fall asleep or wake up, and only when I was highly sleep deprived. I felt the most fear realizing I was mortal in those brief moments and that there was nothing I could do to change it. At the same time, and strangely, I craved that fear! Why I would crave something that would give me terror is not entirely clear to me. All I know is that my greatest moment of being alive (clarity) would come when I clearly felt the certainty of death.

So coming back the fear of old age, I would ask whether those feeling it are less integrated with their families? I have no answers but perhaps it could be a way to accept the circle of life.

Gringo
 
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