What is love?
- Thread starter bigbadbaz
- Start date
Thank God !!! here, listen to love my way:
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or else love will tear you apart:
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Just a few million years ago, our human ancestors were screwing monkeys!(Take a moment to collect yourself, and erase any disturbing imageryâ¦)
This appalling hookup had often been suspected, but was eventually dismissed as tasteless cave-myth. Unfortunately, suspicion has now become fact.That's right, thanks to a big-brained researcher at SIT (first letter stands for Stunata), we now know that humans and chimps were torrid lovers. And the worst part: this wasn't just a primitive attraction. On the contrary, foreheads were caressed, and there was fireside cuddling aplenty.
As time went on though, humans got smarter, chimps got hairier, and the flame of passion died out. Today, chimps live in cages, while humans stroll freely wearing shoes, feasting on low-priced bananas in an obvious haphazard manner. The human-chimp connection has passed, and so there's little concern for "today's chimp," when it comes to quality-of-life.
Despite the apathetic majority (can I see a show of hands) a few Chimp Activists have been toiling away for weeks, lobbying for better Chimp Rights. The focus of their argument: Equal Posting Option Opportunity. Activists state the following: "If we can make love to them, we can certainly post with them."(omfg, what am I saying!!!)
"Both species have moved on," they continue, " so there's no need to be awkward around the message board." Putting this theory to the test, all chimps will be eligible to join Yahoo. There won't be any special treatment, that we can be assured. Nevertheless, if a chimp should happen to write a kick-ass idiot post, you might just get a good laugh.
This new legislation will certainly leave humans in an uproar, but it was always inevitable. Truth is, can ANYONE get away with tossing former lovers in a cage, and making them dance for bananas?
This appalling hookup had often been suspected, but was eventually dismissed as tasteless cave-myth. Unfortunately, suspicion has now become fact.That's right, thanks to a big-brained researcher at SIT (first letter stands for Stunata), we now know that humans and chimps were torrid lovers. And the worst part: this wasn't just a primitive attraction. On the contrary, foreheads were caressed, and there was fireside cuddling aplenty.
As time went on though, humans got smarter, chimps got hairier, and the flame of passion died out. Today, chimps live in cages, while humans stroll freely wearing shoes, feasting on low-priced bananas in an obvious haphazard manner. The human-chimp connection has passed, and so there's little concern for "today's chimp," when it comes to quality-of-life.
Despite the apathetic majority (can I see a show of hands) a few Chimp Activists have been toiling away for weeks, lobbying for better Chimp Rights. The focus of their argument: Equal Posting Option Opportunity. Activists state the following: "If we can make love to them, we can certainly post with them."(omfg, what am I saying!!!)
"Both species have moved on," they continue, " so there's no need to be awkward around the message board." Putting this theory to the test, all chimps will be eligible to join Yahoo. There won't be any special treatment, that we can be assured. Nevertheless, if a chimp should happen to write a kick-ass idiot post, you might just get a good laugh.
This new legislation will certainly leave humans in an uproar, but it was always inevitable. Truth is, can ANYONE get away with tossing former lovers in a cage, and making them dance for bananas?
http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20070722/NEWS01/707220365/0/NEWS02
"Take, take, take it all, take, take, take it all," they shout along
"Take, take, take it all, take, take, take it all," they shout along
