Putin will not attend Gorbachev's funeral due to not wanting to confuse mourners about who should be in the coffin.
Putin to snub Gorbachev funeral due to work schedule
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/sep/01/putin-will-not-attend-gorbachev-funeral-kremlin-says
A man in Moscow goes up to a newsstand and buys a newspaper...
He then glances at the front page, then turns aside and tosses the whole newspaper straight into the trash.
Next day, he turns up, and does the same thing. Buys it, glances at the front page, throws it in the trash.
Next day, same thing. The newsstand worker is increasingly puzzled, but doesn't say anything.
But eventually, after a couple of weeks of this, he can't take it. "I'm sorry, friend, but I must ask: why do you buy the paper every day and then just look at the front page and throw it out?"
"Oh, I'm just checking for something."
"OK, but: what are you checking for?"
"I'm checking for a particular obituary."
"But sir, you don't even
open the newspaper! The obituaries aren't even
on the front page!"
"Oh, believe me, the one I'm waiting for will be."
