TROLL COURT !!...... and other grievances

L

lilduckling

Greeting ladies and gentlemen to this ground breaking first ever trial here in ET. When 3 or more people accuse another person for more then 3 days of being a troll or other mendacious behavior, the case is brought here… The Troll Court, under all rules and regulations of Macropus Court. Proceedings will start soon in the case of LongandStrong, aka Shlap, aka Trader28. The judge speaks in all caps… not that he’s yelling, just so he is distinguished from the lawyers and jury…. Oh… its starting…


“All rise, for the honorable Judge lilduckling, first case, docket #0001TT. The people vs. longandstrong, aka, schlap, aka trader28, charged with 1 count of being a troll, and 3 counts of underhanded trickery.
Charges:
1. Being a troll
2. Editing a post in order to trick newbies
3. Editing a post to save face with peers.
4. Lying about making money on a trade made public.

THANK YOU BAILIFF, PLEASE BE SEATED EVERYONE. COUNCELLOR, YOU CLIENT IS PLEADING NOT GUILTY TO THESE CHARGES, IS THAT CORRECT?

Yes you honor. Your honor at this time the defense would like to file a motion to have this case dismissed.

IN WHAT GROUNDS COUNCILOR?

Contributory negligence in the part of the accusers. Your honor, their constant taunting and teasing is what led my client to be charged with counts #1 and #4. Furthermore, it was Spydertrader that produced the questionable evidence. My client is not responsible for trades made 30 minutes after his call. If the time frame don’t fit, you must acquit . As of the sole evidence, the defense contends that it is not admissible due to mitigating factors in this case. If I may expand on that your honor…..

IM GOING TO ALLOW IT, BUT IM WARNING YOU COUNCELOR, DO NOT TURN THESE PROCEEDINGS INTO A FARCE.

Thank you your honor. Your honor, it has been well established that Spydertrader is a subsidiary of Jack Hersey or Grob enterprises. It is also well known that Grob is a synonymous for “fog” which is defined as follows:

1. thick mist: condensed water vapor in the air at or near ground level
2. cloud of something: a cloud of something such as smoke in the air that reduces visibility
3. hazy confusion: a state of confusion or lack of clarity
4. obscuring agent: something that serves to obscure or conceal a fog of excuses
5. photog blurred area: an area on a photograph that is unclear or obscured by stray light
6. chemistry suspended particles: a cloud or suspension of liquid particles

v (past and past participle fogged, present participle fog·ging, 3rd person present singular fogs)
1. vti make or become obscured: to cause condensation to form on a transparent surface, or become covered with condensation
2. vt make something unclear: to make something unclear or confused
3. vti photog expose film to light: to contaminate film or a developing image with light, usually accidentally, or undergo this process

Therefore you honor, it…

THAT’S ENOUGH. COUNCILOR I WILL NOT LET YOU MAKE A MOKERY OF THIS TRIAL! MR HERSEY IS NOT ON TRIAL HERE, YOUR CLIENT LONGANDSTRONG IS. HOWEVER I DO NOT FIND ANY CREDIBLE EVIDENCE FOR COUNT #2. I THEREFORE AM DISMISSING THE CHARGE OF EDITING A POST TO TRICK NEWBIES.

ARGUMENTS ARE NOW OVER. THE JURY IS TO DELIBERATE ON THE OTHER 4 CHARCES.
JURY FORE PERSON, FOR COUNT # 1, A FELONY, THERE MUST BE AN UNANIMOUS DECISION.

THIS COUNT IS NOW ADJURNED UNTIL JURY REACHES A VERDICT.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, the judge has left the courtroom into his chamber and the 6 jury members are now exiting into the jury room. If found guilty on all counts, longandstrong could face extreme penalties, including having to re-read 20 past posts of jack heresy…. Oh… the bailiff is indicating that the jury has already reached a verdict, that was fast. Judge should be arriving shortly also.

“All rise, for the Honorable Judge lilduckling.”

PLEASE BE SEATED. JURY FOREPERSON YOU ALL HAVE COME TO A DECISION?

[yes your honor]

VERYWELL. BEFORE THE VERDICT IS READ, I WANT TO WARN EVERYONE HERE IN THIS COURTROOM THAT THERE IS TO BE NO OUTBURSTS OF ANYKIND, OR I WILL CLEAR THE COURTROOM.

JURY, ON COUNT #1, CHARGE OF BEING A TROLL, HOW DO YOU FIND THE DEFENDANT, LONGANDSTRONG? SO SAY YE ONE, SO SAY YE ALL.

[we the jury find longandstrong NOT GUILTY of being a troll]

(gasp gasp….. gasp)

SILENCE IN THIS COURT!! SILENCE IN THIS COURT!

ON COUNT #3 HOW DO YOU FIND THE DEFENDANT, PLEASE READ YOUR VERDICT ONE AT A TIME.

Juror #1 ….. GUILTY
Juror #2 ….. NOT GUILTY
Juror #3 ….. GUILTY
Juror #4 ….. GUILTY
Juror #5 ….. GUILTY
Juror #6 ….. NOT GUILTY

ON COUNT #4 HOW DO YOU FIND THE DEFENDANT, PLEASE READ YOUR VERDICT ONE AT A TIME.

Juror #1 ….. NOT GUILTY
Juror #2 ….. NOT GUILTY
Juror #3 ….. NOT GUILTY
Juror #4 ….. NOT GUILTY
Juror #5 ….. NOT GUILTY
Juror #6 ….. NOT GUILTY

THANK YOU JURY, YOU HAVE COMPLETED YOUR PART IN THIS TRIAL, AND YOUR OBLIGATIONS ARE NOW FULFILLED. YOU ARE HERE DISMISSED. THANK YOU.

COUNCELOR, IS THERE ANY STATEMENTS THE DEFENCE WOULD LIKE READ BEFORE I PRONOUCE THE SENTENCE?
None your honor.

VERY WELL, LONGANDSTRONG I AM TAKING INTO ACCOUNT ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE IN THE ET COMMUNITY IN THE PAST. THEREFORE I AM GOING TO RULE ADJUDICATION WITHHELD PROVIDING YOU MEET ALL OF YOUR OBLIGATIONS IN THE PROBATIONARY PERIOD SET BEFORE YOU.

YOU ARE NOT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME FOR A PERIOD NO LESS THEN 4 MONTHS

YOU ARE TO HAVE NO CONTACT WITH STEVE46 OR COME WITHIN 4 POSTS IN A THREAD

YOU ARE NOT TO MAKE MARKEK CALLS FOR A PERIOD OF 2 BUSINESS DAYS.

THIS CONCLUDES THIS TRIAL, THE MACROPUS COURT IS NOW ADJOURNED.
 
Quote from lilduckling:

If found guilty on all counts, longandstrong could face extreme penalties, including having to re-read 20 past posts of jack heresy….
More...

LOL :D
 
This proceeding was bullshit,
this much I know,
he paid his lawyer a lot of money
to get that acquit. :p

He's been an absolute troll for more than a year,
and will not grow out of it,
or change, I fear. :(

He deleted his post
(which included some nasty ass porn in it),
he's a complet fucking tool,
this man is toast. :D

He was wrong on the market,
not knowing up from down,
and when I called him on it,
he met me with a frown. :eek:

He pretended to be short
when he was actually looking for support,
the man is a fool,
how could you be his cohort? :confused:
***
I recommend a sentence of banishment from ET and being relegated to permanent Trolldom, with no opportunity for parole.
 
we was found guilty of changing his post after the fact.

but just like real courts, this court gave him a slap in the wrist.

jails are overcrowded with trolls.
plus he hired a good lawer
 
There will be a rush of trolls to surrender looking to cut deals to avoid the possible penalty of reading hershey posts.
 
This is an ET court news special report.

Due to the willful and wanton disregard for the conditions in his brobation set upon by this court, long&strong was issued an ET arrest warrent this afternoon and has been sent to troll jail.
He has also lost custody of all his posts under that name.

It is not expected that he will make bail.


This has been an ET court news speial report.
 
Why wasn't I on the jury. I've been a well known, uncontroversial citizen of ET for over 4 years. And I would've convicted that sorry ass.
 
Quote from The Kin:

Why wasn't I on the jury. I've been a well known, uncontroversial citizen of ET for over 4 years. And I would've convicted that sorry ass.
More...

Am sorry, but the macropus court dictates that he must be judged by a jury of his peers. (thus only getting one conviction)
 
I've just gotten a report that a troll has escaped from jail and is running loose under an assumed name.

I need a marshal damn it!

He is to find this troll and bring him here alive!

Im just one judge in this vast territory... cant do it all. I have a badge waiting here for any qualified brave men that want to step up.
 
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