This journal is being started because I am fed up with the way I trade.
I don't follow my rules. I randomly take trades based on what I think rather than my rules.
I wrote up a long paper last night plainly outlining my trade set ups and committing to only taking those trades and I just didn't do that today. It's not like it's just one day. I haven't been following my rules for a while now, which is why I wrote up the paper last night.
I was very discouraged after trading today thinking I can't trade. But when I studied my trades, I found that the trades that followed my set ups worked great, or I got out with a small loss because I was afraid to stay in the trade, but I would have had a great day had I just done what I was planning to do.
It's like I'm a different person when I'm trading, yet I tell myself that I'm making great decisions, when I'm not. I can clearly see afterwards that I'm not.
This journal isn't meant to be followed. I don't think I'll write out anything about how I feel in here. I just need some accountability and thought I'd try journaling again.
There won't be any charts in this thread and I probably won't share exactly how I'm doing. I will only share if I did what I meant to do or if I was making random decisions.
I might as well say this, to make it stick in my mind: I shorted ALL day today, even though I saw it could go up higher, because I thought, in the present moment, price was likely to go down. I have rules for counter trend trading and most of those entries did NOT follow those rules. Why did I place the trades? I told myself I wouldn't take any trades except my setups, but I didn't take my set ups when they came and I did what I knew I shouldn't. If I make it as a trader, it won't be because I have any natural ability to read price. The trades that were right followed indicators and rules. It's not like I didn't know I wasn't following my rules for the other trades. That's the part that scares me. I knew it and I still took trades that were contrary to my plan.
One more thing. My best trade of the day was my last one, when I was completely frustrated and knew I had to stick to rules and I did and thankfully that one worked. I don't know why trading today was so mentally difficult that I had to come to such an emotional state in order to make myself follow rules.
When will I ever learn? Reminds me of the phrase "When will they ever learn?" from the song, "Where have all the Flowers Gone?" I know it's an old song....it's one of my mom's favorites, but that describes me--never learning. Maybe I should keep that song playing in the background when I trade so that I remember that I have not been learning what I've needed to learn for a very long time now!
