Sorry the delay, sometimes i have to take a break. This is such an exacting topic.
Quote from oldtime:
i grew up on LSD, I have no doubt what I'm talking about
I read somewhere the guy who made/discovered it had a spontaneous experience when he was young, very much like the LSD experience.
James Oroc said he used to use LSD in his book
Tryptamine Palace. Then he found out about a DMT called 5-meODMT. Has some very interesting things to say about it.
Quote from oldtime:
my problem is, I can only experience the goodness, but as soon as I try to figure it out, or tell somebody about or harnees it for my own good, it goes away. it's the old ego problem
Yes there seems to be a complete and utter disconnect between the world of what's often called *ego* and what's actually GOOD. There's a kind of *gravity* pull to it.
Quote from oldtime:
goodness and my ego just simply can't coexist
Even when reaching GOOD through, say 5-meODMT, it's very short-lived for those just awakening. A thinking mind, what's often called *ego* just wants to take over, go it's own way, make it's own world...and call it "reality".
Quote from oldtime:
no problem except for the fact that I do need to make a living
This is a dilemma. Some would say it's the egoic thinking mind that insists we need to make a living. There's another type of mind that doesn't worry about it at all. There's a type of mind that sees the whole need to toil and eat as totally bogus. I admit i'm not there.
Quote from oldtime:
unlike most who say, "Check your ego at the door" When I trade I need to go find it again and dust it off and put it back on
Yes, i will admit that a mind, not compatible with reality, is needed to deal with the markets. A mind well-adjusted to craziness does better (in the markets).
Quote from oldtime:
and that is what I want to get away from, but for me there is no balance, it's one or the other, all the way all in all the time
I agree, no balance. Not possible to balance Reality with imagination. But we try because we want both. So what happens is we make distinctions, within imagination, calling some imaginary things "real", and other imaginary things "unreal".
This "thinking" mind is very tricksy.
Quote from oldtime:
and that's not just my personality and how I approach everything, it's how I view the whole ego vs goodness problem
sometimes I think the old time religion already knew this and just put it in a simple form that anybody can understand
So here's what i'm doing, whether it's right or not. Setting up some automation so that i can walk away from the race for dollars, sit down and meditate right...the way that's really necessary to "overcome" the mind that makes this thing it calls "the world"...and return to GOOD. In the old days, a monk would get rid of everything except a purple or saffron robe and a rice bowl for alms. What i'm planning is something similar but not so drastic. I want to walk away from the market. But i want IT to supply the alms. The thinking mind insists that this is what's necessary. It's challenging to overrule it without some direct experience of what's beyond it. So this is what i'll do till i learn better.
