I have this need to post this to my journal so here it goes and then I can move on.
I'm left quite upset with today. I've been trying so hard to stay focused and actually do the work required but I'm clearly not getting far. I tried to focus on just discussing behavior, but each time I'm met with the simple answer of just "observe". I'm trying to find a way to know what I'm looking for, but all the answers seem to just be that I will know what it is when I find it, which is a bit too "spiritual" for me. (Its like I'm looking for something in a haystack. I have no idea what... but some fucker put this needle in here and it just pricked me, and I still have all this hay to go through.)
The bulk of my frustration is the discussions with fortydraws. When I tried to discuss the rejection at 74 with Db and hence focus on price action, because in that moment, and for the next 15 or 20 seconds price did in fact reject this outlined resistance level, I didn't get a reply. But when fortydraws shares his rather extraordinary story about his friend, complete with the inspirational account of how much money he made in one week after only dabbling in this for a couple of months, this is somehow allowed to fly. Don't get me wrong, its Db's journal, so who I am to say what's appropriate. But after some serious thought, I've got some questions.
You see, in the past few months, so many posters here have been down on me for trading without a plan that is well defined and tested to be profitable. (I still don't know what it means to have a trading plan written down that is based on behavior and rejections and yet nobody can point to that behavior to me on a chart... and if I had to watch live, perhaps a 10 second video clip... but I realize this is a lot to ask) I also still chuckle about this proposition because if we all had this trading plan, there would simply be no reason to post, so I think if the only reply ever to anyone who is struggling is if they have a plan, most of these journals can and should be quite short. (Do you have a plan? No ----> then make one. Yes ----> then follow it... and onto the next journal)
But something about fortydraw's story just doesn't add up for me. I'm by no means calling him out on it, I have no proof one way or the other, but it just seems odd to me that fortydraws had to talk with his friend for 45 minutes and caution him about how this past week has been exceptional and not typical. Wouldn't someone who has a consistently profitable and well tested plan already be fully aware of this? Wouldn't he have the stats to show how many days trend well? What the average range of a given day is? Why discuss the trades every evening when the plan calls for the trades to be taken and so they were? There should simply be nothing to discuss other than if the plan was followed or not. Imagine me coming home from work and calling my friend to tell them my boss told me to do something and so I did it because my job is to do what my boss says. What is the point of this conversation? (and if there is a point to this conversation, which is my point, then this trading plan is clearly not as well established as it should be)
Sure my reply reeks of pure jealousy, but just like with discussions about religion and the onus of proof being on those who make the extraordinary claim, I find it indeed extraordinary that after reading the PDF, taking one trade on Monday to make 8 points, and then averaging over 35 points per contract for the next 4 days is quite extraordinary. (I arrive at this figure because I take the $6,000 made, subtract $300 for the Monday, which leaves $5,700 spread over 2 contracts for the next 4 days. Were there even any losses? If he needed at least 35 points each day per contract of pure wins, if there were a couple of 2 or 3 points scratches, then this would require over 40 points in total at the very least) Of course the swings were huge, so its all possible, but its extraordinary indeed. In fact, the only way for this to be possible for a brand new trader would be to have observed fortydraws trading the entire week, so I don't think fortydraws is justified in saying that the results of his friend don't have anything to do with him.
Furthermore, if one is in tune what he is doing, if his levels are perfectly prepared on his chart, if his entries are well thought out, if he knows where he is scaling out of contracts, then I think he has a pretty good idea of where he is in terms of his P&L. How on earth a person could go the entire week without even accidentally glancing at this number is beyond me. The whole story just sounds like this guy did a bit of research, threw some money at it, didn't care, and wow, he more than doubled it in a week. I find it quite insulting almost, but this is purely an emotional response based on my own inadequacy. I have a part time business, and although I don't know what my sales are every month if I don't add it up, you can damn well bet that I have a good idea based on how busy I was, how much materials I used, etc. This example just makes it sound like he is winging it. Will we hear about a choppy week?
I'm upset because I am being judged differently. (I know the world isn't fair... no need to point it out... and I even know that being here in Canada already makes my life exceptionally good and I'm already incredibly lucky for being born where I was as opposed to having to go through the struggles that billions of people in this world unfortunately have to go through.) But given that Db never wants to talk about entries or profits, its just incredible that fortydraws can contribute this extraordinary story and be met with applause.
You know, from what I've seen of fortydraw's posts, he is an incredibly stand up guy so I don't want to imply that he is making all this up. But I think he's incredibly misguided to say that his help had no influence on his friend, and I find it so insulting when both Db and him question those of us who are struggling, mainly myself, because it apparently is so easy that after only a few months of observation we should all be able to do this. The thing that they say they see in observation is actually not that easy to see. If it was, we would all see it, and none of us would be struggling. Why can't someone point it out? Fortydraws mentioned in my very thread here a few weeks ago that I probably don't even understand his use of tick charts or what he's looking at. So the jab was there... where is the help? He showed the 150 vol LOC chart and how the entry trigger is the breaking of a swing low or high.... so what else is there? He says what it is, and then says I don't even know why or how he enters. My head is spinning!
If I was playing a musical instrument and hit a bad note, I think the music teacher could point out to me which one it was. If I was baking a cake in my cooking class, I think the teacher could point out to me if I have a problem with measuring ingredients or not baking it right. Fortydraws is about the only person who has been successful with this based on the journals familiar to me, so this by itself is quite a testament to show how difficult it is to put all of this together.
I know, the answer is out there... I just have to find it. Just observe... and keep observing. Don't think about entering, just observe. When you observe enough, you will know how to enter. No point in discussing entries because it will just come to you. When you know what you're looking at it, it will magically appear.
And now that I have burned all my bridges, I can tune out and move on. The beautiful thing about this trading endevour is that nobody has to like me or accept me, so there is always a way to move forward.
I will leave this journal open for a few more days so that those who want to point out to me how badly I've failed have the opportunity to do so. (No, I haven't blown my account out, but I'm clearly not doing anything right. I'm down about $8,000 in total... nothing compared to some of the poor guys who were on the wrong side of the Swiss Franc currency trade I take it. I could trade more than 2 contracts in my account still, so it should take even less than a week to make it all back based on the previous mentioned results.

)
This would also be a really good time to hear from Ghost Of Blotto..... he always had something inspirational to tell me that would lift my spirits.
Ps. I'd like to thank a member on here who got me onto Sierra Charts. I believe the account is a fictitious one since this member never posts, so I have no idea who it really is, but the replay function is damn easy to use (although the replay still is a bit choppy in comparison to how it moves in real time), and I have access to 3 years of tick data which I was really after for testing. This new platform is clearly going to turn my trading around!
