You already answered your own question. If you think (and have attitude) that you are not ready then you are not. And if you feel that $2/point is more comfortable for you that is what you should go with.
And don't get into "I will success when I have x months/years more of practice". There are ppl who "made it" after months, there are others who made it after years, and there are ppl who never made it (even after years). That's very nice that you want to put effort and that for sure will give you something but if you have availability to do it - just do it. You know - you can prepare and prepare and prepare and never try (waiting to be ready, in the meantime markets markets will change etc. etc.). So just do it and in the meantime put work to develop. Of course it doesn't mean you should put your 20k, trading NQ with those problems that you described and just wipe your account in short time (which can hurt you psychologically). But you mentioned micros and that's better option. You should just be aware to treat it seriously. You know to avoid effect - NQ is too stressful for me, but from the other hand about those PnL moves in micro - "I don't really care".
If you have 20k and profitable system (which you can't be sure now until you prove it profitable in live/ most close to live environment, real time, not only backtested) then you can spend some time to trade it producing some nice statement (you don't need to make huge returns, it's about % and ratios) and then it's good idea to use some prop/fund to give you a shot or to leverage your money. After that if you are sure that's robust you can even go into arcade mode - so put some deposit in exchange for leverage (+ good commissions structure). Of course nicer version is do it without depo (but it will be harder to do). And that can work. Just my opinion.