Trading and Marriage Don't Mix???
- Thread starter jinxu
- Start date
If you aren't making lots of money and spending it on her, she will resent the hell out of you. She will particularly resent you if she is out there working hard while you sit at home trading. This is true even if your trading is neting more money than she earns.
Personal experience. However, I am not a good trader yet.
Last winter she went out worked a traditional job and made less money than I did trading. She was pregnant at the time. I returned to my usual job in the spring; at the time of my return to my usual job she was 6 months pregnant. While trading, I paid for all living expenses except food, and currently pay for everything. She at the time only paid for food. In the end, I had saved about $5000, and she had paid $5000 towards the cost of her violin. I thought this was more than equitable, but she resented the hell out of me for sitting at home and trading.
I discovered this summer while her mom was visting from Russia, that her Mom was also very angry with me. i.e. How dare I send my pregnant wife out to work while I sit at home and trade.
Now, I work full-time and trade part-time.
Thanks for sharing a true incident. Imho, their anger would have been justified had you lost money or had your brokeeven, but you made money and paid for all the bills. still they resented - its irrational and frankly a bit surprising. Maybe they didn't appreicate the concept that trading from home can be a very rewarding career over time.
why? Because, more than 90% of small traders lose. They just lose!
http://articles.latimes.com/2012/jul/09/business/la-fi-retirement-trading-20120709
Divorce
It is irrational, however you will find that a great deal of expectations in life are irrational. People, aren't comfortable with those who don't have the so called "traditional" job, unless you are very successful in your untraditional job.
New problem now: even though I work full-time, it doesn't offer a dental plan. We have to pay with cash for any dental issues. So, am I bad husband and father because my wife needs to wait until Monday to get her teeth fixed? Maybe. If I worked for the bank ( and made LESS money ), I would have a dental plan. So, maybe I should be normal and go work for the bank.
The trouble in my case is the expectations of the "man" in the household. We may live in countries where women are considered equal, but the man is still expected to be the provider despite women's change of role in society. Sitting at home and trading, if you need her to go out and work to afford all of your bills, won't be successful. I guarentee it. Don't try this until you can make lots and lots of money so she doesn't need to work.