Quote from Trish:
Don't tamper with peace:
I joined a high profile dating service Feb 2006. $6500. 4-7 matches-marriage minded. Men pay more:$8500! To date nationally can be upwards of $50k. For a girl, a service like this weeds out a lot of riff raff from what you might get on "nearly" free sites: yahoo, eharmony (their commercials are irritating now), people can lie, they can be ill-intentioned, have a criminal record, lie about their picture and so on. The service is at least for very busy people who don't hang out in bars. (Me.) Time management of being fixed up is great.
Before I signed a contract, I ask explicitly, 'is it possible for me to be matched with people who are living in a city that I would like to move to? I don't want to date here in L.A.,' making it clear to the matchmaker. (So many here are vile.)
"Yes." Said the matchmaker. She writes it all down, I don't get a copy of my "wish" list with locations but sign the contract (that I do get a copy of) and pay in 2 payments.
Match one: a man in L.A. I turn it down.
It's March.
The matchmaker wants me to date men in L.A. in addition to being matched with men outside of L.A. because the wait for a gent to travel here on business may take too long. I say no, I don't want to dump someone the minute I get the opportunity to move away. The matchmakers are really pushy sales people-very good too, she sounds sincere, I say ok.
Match two: another man in L.A. He calls once and says let's have dinner next week, I say ok and never hear from him. (is this considered a match?)
I start to ask questions. The L.A. office won't answer them or my emails and their office address is not listed, reason being "they have a lot of info about high profile people celebs and sports figs-people that they need to protect."
Match three: a man in L.A.: one drink for one and a half hour. Is this a match, contractually? This rejection is starting to feel expensive.
I ask the L.A. office. No answers. I talk to the San Francisco office-thinking they would be more communicative. They are. It is April. I'm told they don't have offices in half of the cities I requested. (2 of 4) They say there is a high turnaround in the L.A. office. They say they don't have many tall men. (I'm tall.) They say one minute or a lifetime with a man is a contractual match on their part. They say what I am asking for (being matched with men away from L.A.) is a national membership and I don't deserve the caliber of attention-I didn't pay for that membership fee.
I thought people might approach dating/relationships like I do. Being emotionally/physically available. Maybe these men are way too busy?
I ask the San Francisco office for a pro-rated refund on a no refund contract. The matchmaker says she'll talk to the owner and get back to me. They don't, or return a 2nd call.
I alert the L.A. office to refrain from matching me and trying to obtain a refund. By September I talk to the owner. She finally agrees to pro-rate a refund. I ask her to keep in mind three things when she decides the amount:
1. Matchmaker who signed me on was clear I didn't want to date men here.
2. I tried to resolve this in May.
3. I have had one drink with one man since Feb.
At the end of the month, her daughter in the L.A. office decides not to give me a refund. I take them to small claims and lose. Why? What they promised verbally and what is written on the contract doesn't support my request. I don't have the matchmaker's word in writing that she'll match me with people who are not in L.A., I don't have the owner's phone call to me in writing that she'll refund me, either.
Lessons learned:
Can't hurry love.
Get out of L.A.
Get things in writing.
Pay attention to red flags: upon signing, the matchmaker asks me if I want to date her boyfriend who is not a member because they are not working out.
Stop being so darn trusting.
Karma is payback: what did I do to receive this?-just too honest....and best of all their karma:
My commission stayed right on this chick's big fat behind while my behind remains awesome-to allure others.
Living well is the best revenge.
