Well. This is it. I've finally made it to the final hurdle that will determine whether I can make it as a trader or not.
And that hurdle is my own psyche.
I'll admit that when I first got into trading, I thought the psychological aspect was all a bunch of hooey for people too weak to follow their rules.
However, for all the challenges I've faced coming this far, mastering my own psyche is by far the most frustrating and difficult.
Since I have dedicated myself to day trading futures(I am still on a simulator, by the way) using discretionary trading, I have been a consistent loser.
Why ? Two very simple reasons. My trades fall into 1 of two categories:
1) I plan a trade, then either:
a) Fail to execute it completely because I lack confidence in my abilities
b) Put the trade on expecting 4-12 ticks of profit, and then bail at 1 or 2 ticks because I am afraid of losing.
c) Put the trade on, let it go to 6 ticks of profit or more and give it back.
~~~~~~ Or ~~~~~~~
2) I get emotional and get tempted into making sucker bets which are not in my plan, and invariably lose $200-$300 on each one I make.
Basically, I am the reincarnation of the guy Mark Douglas talks about on pages 72-75 of The Disciplined Trader.
Words cannot express how heart wrenching it is to take 2 ticks profit on a trade that eventually went on to 8-12 ticks and know you did it out of sheer lack of discipline.
Almost every day I walk out down, when had I traded my plan I would have walked out up.
It is so frustrating to be a good market analyst, and continually lose money as a trader.
The two things I need to master are avoiding plays that are just going with the crowd and executing my plan flawlessly.
I need to get it in my head that if I overcome this last obstacle I can actually start trading for a living and if I cannot best it, I have to give up trading.