To the guys that think it is nothing, to the guys that think we are just normal, Here chew on this normal post. Once you are FINISHED reading and understanding it you may continue with your claim.
Today I realized that I may have royally f'ed up.
I dont know yet so Ill stay calm and focus on something.
To make it understandable to typical people.
an employees with ADHD tends not to cash in their pay checks and let the pile up until money is needed in the bank and then deposit them ll at once giving him funds for a few months and allowing him to accumulate more checks.
I guess it is not typicall for hyperactive type as they tend to spend inattentive tend to not have things to spend money on .
This is not my case but kind prety much the same results.
Imagine that one assume that they had a stack of checks and had no worry in the world for a long time.
and then they began to doubt the pile. Naturally all the checks are not in one place, Every year some get lost and the number is not known but this is just the cost of ADHD and there fore is justified.
Any ways.
A really bad assumption like this may have been made on my part. Ill ignore it till it is proven, but if it is fact I am screwed.
Stupid I know. I could of just been more organized. I know. I could of stopped this I know..
I could of tried harder at this and less harder at day trading I know.
Fact is that this happened.
Yes all avoidable, but it wasn't avoided. I have responsibilities and people that depend on me. Getting a job wont cure the problem, maybe 2 will.
But I know that there is still some time and I am not wrong or right, I am probably in-between.
The repercussions of this error will severely change my life. It will put me in to 2 dead end jobs for the rest of my life at worst case scenario.
So fry my brain ! Who cares. either way my life is fried.
I have a friend from school way back and bumped in to him he is like me in some ways, he is living on the street (or was) Literally on the street.
I gave him a hand and he is working with a roof on his head and now I am wondering if the hand I gave him will be the same as the one that puts me on the street.
Fry him ! he was a good guy his life got fried and he feels he cant ever be what he seemed like he would be.
Life on the street is not that bad. Its a freebee. winters are cold as hell but like my friend , with a bit of luck you can get a telemarketing job and get by.
That option is not there any more. with responsibilities there is no freebee any more.
So what the hell happens. ?
My life made me live by the theory that what ever happens I will not die of lack of money. This fearlessness allowed me to climb up high.
I was higher then most, I rented a car of the year or over a year at a retail rental price... yes rented, not leased.
I'm sure I paid off the car a few times. But I had wheels and the rental guy was friendly. whatever no regrets it was the right move at the time it seemed. It didnt dent me that much it was just an expense. Payroll on the other hand was a tuff one, uneducated but determined staff was paid more then their colleagues that finished university. My short comings and my understanding of the short term aspect of sales forced me to pay well.
1 pay check, in the higher tax brackets multiplied by many, with a office and 3 rented vehiculs in total ( one of which was mine)
And now ? And now ?
This is not normal my friend I don't care if i had it better and now things slowing down, Slowing down to what ? I dont need food but others do.
I know what I have and I know I may have passed it along, And I know that at any cost I have to make sure that people get through school even if it takes 3 years extra of college and 3 more of university.
It makes the difference between me and my doctor above that have the same issue. One was blessed with University, it was not taken by him.
Im getting upset, I am probably all wrong about the miscalculation.
I remember when the tax man came at my door trying to convince me what was right, I remember giving him what ever he wanted and he wanted my stack of checks my company security. Like an idiot I assumed he was entitled cause it was not his fault that he could not calculate profit based on decades, Instead he told me that the good years he would take and then double cause just cause he could.
This is ADHD millionaire has beens on the street incapable of climbing the corporate ladder and with the eduction will be stuck working at MCD's
Meds damage brain ! they also keep the weak alive!
Your statistics will never include my friend. he had no address. he had no pen he did not have the basics to fill out your survey.
I'm not getting mad an the posters here. Maybe the guys that claims to be a doc and does not medicate based one his superior sense of morals.
A Superior sense of morals that will not be around to catch me.
Maybe there are other cures maybe fish meditation or what ever.
That does not mean it will be applied. It was not applied to me as I was undiagnosed. So the strategy may be good but it failed getting me through while having to work school. Again the strategy may be good.
But what good is it if one rolls his eyes, (is he wrong in rolling or doubting? ) Who cares, end effect is the street.
If one thinks that meds will help him , whatever, give him what he wants to get by, even if its not relevant. whats wrong is a failure.
Laziness? Who cares.
These are some of the greatest minds that only lack the education.
If you coudl download your quantum physics classes in to my head I will probably be able to demystify it .
I cant escape not doing that. I self learnt (as well as one with ADHD can) Not a single number was used, I came up with a model that allowed the different laws seen in QM world (like single and double slit ect and the viewing of all possibilities ect. ) to fit in to our world without breaking and universal laws.
I'm sure It has been done by many, Alot of my conclusions I later was was also conclusions of others. It took me X amount of time to learn (all you tube im affriad)
One night the answer came to me. From there I unfairly optimised it to fit better. but it fit to begin with.
It took another 5 days to get it written, Its probably as legible as this.
There is no where to send it ,
Not being sure if I discovered something new I went on a quest to prove to myself that many people can and have done this. Today A letter photocopied 10 times (to make sure that one will survive the disastrous faith that would be imposed to in from the shop to my home) lays on my Desk.
It reads Dear David suzuki... Imagine how long it took me to take my writing like this post and make it in to a clear concise letter.
The letter is some where. I am embarrassed of it. With 10 copy's floating around it is impossible to get rid of it.
It represents me at my smartest transferring to me at my stupidest.
The weight of the work done is unknown, Safe to assume it is the same as any cracked out conspirousy theory or parallel universe theory. Maybe it was the answer to everything? but we will never know.
It seems like I have changed topics but I have not .
your minds are on on the street with no information.
The whole thing A to Y proobably ate up a few weeks or a month.
Now I am panicking cause I miscalculated my time to get by.
A month, before that was another and now we are in another. Not a single thing has changed since my business was closed.
Without eductaion, contacts, ability to climb the corporate ladder, being socially tolerable to not look for a reason to let go of. with nothing and nobody. All options come down to a 90% failure rate. Including business.
What a mess, from there I conclude to not rely on others and I find my self here in a sea of the equivilant failure rate if not worse. Not having to impress and be entertaining the markets has its long term benefit.
Out come is unknown and there is not thing saying that things wont turn around even if one does make it .
I doubt any one read that and thank god lol
I guess I had to blow off some steam. this thread tends to get the worst side of me. In return I ignore long posts on this threads. lol
Sorry bout that. Meditation (awarness and distancing of ones thoughts)
Is something that does make sense to me.
It is a big step that most people cant let go of cause it means letting go of everyone. It is not about relaxation It is about changing the actual structure of the brain. The out side influences are just distractions. When it is done one does not need to find another to love.
They are de wired from this conditioning that was installed to make sure we reproduce and take care of our young. Instead one takes care of their off spring cause it is right.
It will solve all ones problems except putting bread on the table (the one thing that stops a person from being and makes a person participate. Your participation will always distract you from what is real. It will hide the Why.)
Welcome to the ADD mind that should be learning trading formations or finding out how many days are left till the financial cliff.
No, Im here knowing that no one will read all this. Hell I skipped over things 1/3 as long and 10x clearer
