I would agree with Pekelo. Find a firm where you have free access to a simulator, or a side demo account also. Sit down and study where you keep blowing it out. If it is using planned trades then there is most likely a fault with your planned trades. If it is a lack of discipline to stick to a plan, then obviously you need to solve that before losing real money or giving money to another one of these pay to play places.
Thanks for posting what is really happening! Translate that honesty to yourself and an evaluation of your trading. It will help you be successful.
Thanks for posting what is really happening! Translate that honesty to yourself and an evaluation of your trading. It will help you be successful.