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Top five regrets of the dying
- Thread starter bigarrow
- Start date
I finally came up with a regret. If I could be a little kid today, I would be much more kind to the other little kids that had problems instead of making fun of them.
I would have been a lot more friendly to the girls who were not the most beautiful.
I probably still would have made fun of grownups behind their backs, but I would have been a lot more respectful of them to their faces.
In short, I would have treated people better.
I would have been a lot more friendly to the girls who were not the most beautiful.
I probably still would have made fun of grownups behind their backs, but I would have been a lot more respectful of them to their faces.
In short, I would have treated people better.
good post.
In the end, we only have the books we read and the relationships we developed.
In the end, we only have the books we read and the relationships we developed.
"Do not pursue what is illusory - property and position: all that is gained at the expense of your nerves decade after decade and can be confiscated in one fell night. Live with a steady superiority over life - don't be afraid of misfortune, and do not yearn after happiness; it is after all, all the same: the bitter doesn't last forever, and the sweet never fills the cup to overflowing."
"Own only what you can carry with you; know language, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag."
-Alexander Solzhenitsyn
I'll meet Alexander half way. I'll pursue those fine things in life such as friendships and knowledge, at the same time as enjoying the more worldly and terrestrial pleasures.
I can understand his sentiment though, living the majority of his life in a time and place where things were easily confiscated.
"Own only what you can carry with you; know language, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag."
-Alexander Solzhenitsyn
I'll meet Alexander half way. I'll pursue those fine things in life such as friendships and knowledge, at the same time as enjoying the more worldly and terrestrial pleasures.
I can understand his sentiment though, living the majority of his life in a time and place where things were easily confiscated.
Quote from bigarrow:
Top five regrets of the dying
A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?
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Comments (280)
Susie Steiner
guardian.co.uk, Wednesday 1 February 2012 06.49 EST
Article history
The top five regrets of the dying
A palliative nurse has recorded the top five regrets of the dying. Photograph: Montgomery Martin/Alamy
There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.
Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."
Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."
What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying
You forgot point 6. I wish I hadnt read so much crap on elitetrader.
Quote from bigarrow:Top five regrets of the dying
A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying....
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying
These are just anecdotes "recorded" by a nurse.
There is a good reason why the western world established scientific approaches: It minimizes the subjective influence on results.
All that can be learned from this article is how a single person (Susie Steiner) sees the world and which values she wants that others should estimate.