Tiger Woods Arrested For DUI

Scataphagos · May 29, 2017

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-05-29/tiger-woods-arrested-dui

A Cop pulls Tiger Woods over for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells Woods to blow into a breathalyzer.

"I can't do that, officer -- I'm an asthmatic. I could have an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."

"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we could get a blood sample."

"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line."

"Can't do that either, officer."
"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

CaptainObvious · May 29, 2017

A long fall from the top. I still maintain his biggest mistake was trying to fit the "proper gentlemen" mold of the PGA. He should have stayed single, babe on each arm come Sunday morning, and played his gunslinger style. On his game there was no close second, not even close. Too bad. I would have loved to see him demolish every record. At this point I doubt he'll ever play again.

Clubber Lang · May 29, 2017

Woods was one of the most blatant PED/doping users ever.
His career collapsed immediately when the PGA started testing. Literally almost overnight
Now his body is broke down like so many other long time users.

CaptainObvious · May 29, 2017

Clubber Lang said:
Woods was one of the most blatant PED/doping users ever.
His career collapsed immediately when the PGA started testing. Literally almost overnight
Now his body is broke down like so many other long time users.

My opinion, ped doesn't give a golfer much of an edge. Does nothing for putting and short game. Might help off the tee, but you still have to hit the ball straight. He did get more gym time than needed for the game and muscled up to his own detriment. No, it was pussy and ego thay brought him down. That, and to many swing changes as he aged.

Clubber Lang · May 29, 2017

CaptainObvious said:
My opinion, ped doesn't give a golfer much of an edge. Does nothing for putting and short game. Might help off the tee, but you still have to hit the ball straight. He did get more gym time than needed for the game and muscled up to his own detriment. No, it was pussy and ego thay brought him down. That, and to many swing changes as he aged.

I think the PED's/doping kept him fresh. He was always known for his "legendary" Sunday rounds. That's because he was strong and refreshed while the rest of the scrawny goobers were worn down.

mlawson71 · May 30, 2017

I'll never understand why people this rich drive themselves after drinking. It's not like they can't afford a driver or a cab.

Clubber Lang · May 30, 2017

mlawson71 said:
I'll never understand why people this rich drive themselves after drinking. It's not like they can't afford a driver or a cab.

You're assuming it was just alcohol.
I think there's more to this story.

CaptainObvious · May 30, 2017

Tiger says no booze was involved. He just mixed up some meds and went for a drive at 3 in the morning. Errrr, okay my man, whatever you say. I believe him. No, really I do. :banghead:

Covertibility · May 30, 2017

Bad Quaaludes.

Somebody out there has to be making this stuff.

Scataphagos · May 30, 2017

Clubber Lang said:
You're assuming it was just alcohol.
I think there's more to this story.

Tiger apparently claims "it wasn't alcohol at all"... just a bad mix of prescription drugs. We'll see. (Or maybe not. The golfing world doesn't appreciate one of its superstars being shown in such a weak and vulnerable light.)

It's kind of a shame. Tiger has been his own worst enemy... not that it's anything new for celebrities with gobs of money and fame.