This is too funny. Timmay gets abused.

S

spyglass

http://muffmarkets.com/hbs05/2008/01/25/damnit-bess/

There are a lot of sketchy characters in finance. Some people who ran hedge funds don’t have any sort of finance background at all, if you can believe that. Or any business education.

I’ve been trying to figure out strategies to invest for MuffCap, LLC and I thought that I would talk to some experts who had already been successful investors. Bess played a terrible joke on me. She pointed me to this guy she said had run a really successful hedge fund and that I could learn a lot from him. So I started chatting with him online. It is pretty obvious Bess was joking. I think you can pretty much tell from the chat log.

10:27:41 AM muffiehbs05: Hi.
10:27:43 AM CilantroFP: yo shit
10:27:50 AM muffiehbs05: Yo shit?
10:27:51 AM CilantroFP: hey sorry
10:27:54 AM CilantroFP: wrong im lo0l
10:28:07 AM CilantroFP: who’s this
10:28:21 AM muffiehbs05: I’m Muffie, who do you think I am, sheesh
10:28:31 AM CilantroFP: haha no idea
10:29:09 AM muffiehbs05: Well, I read your book and I’ve started a hedge fund (See the details at http://www.muffmarkets.com) and I thought I would say hello and try and, you know, see what I might learn.
10:29:38 AM CilantroFP: cool, hey there!
10:29:46 AM muffiehbs05: Hey there!
10:30:26 AM muffiehbs05: Or, I dunno, maybe there isn’t much to learn?
10:30:43 AM CilantroFP: oh your that muffie!
10:30:51 AM muffiehbs05: “That Muffie” ?
10:30:57 AM muffiehbs05: How many are there? My name is pretty unique.
10:31:09 AM CilantroFP: muffie from dealbreaker who bess keeps pointing me to whenever i bug her about reviewing my book

10:31:33 AM muffiehbs05: You want me to review your book?
10:31:37 AM CilantroFP: yes!
10:31:51 AM muffiehbs05: Well, I don’t write for DB anymore, after I had to leave The Bank.
10:32:01 AM CilantroFP: ah that sux i’m sorry
10:32:07 AM CilantroFP: well review it on your site and i’ll link
10:32:15 AM muffiehbs05: But I’ve got about 7500 daily viewers.
10:32:33 AM CilantroFP: niiiiice
10:32:52 AM CilantroFP: maybe u can have a contest and i’ll ship your reader 2-3 free books
10:33:17 AM muffiehbs05: So, look, not that I don’t want to become a publicity outlet for your book and anything, I’m sure that’s helpful, but I really wanted to try and learn about strategy for my fund, you know. Maybe you could actually do something for me considering all the things you want me to do for you?
10:33:41 AM CilantroFP: haha ok definitely
10:33:44 AM CilantroFP: what kind of fund
10:33:55 AM muffiehbs05: Well, I don’t know yet.
10:34:06 AM muffiehbs05: I have capital already.
10:34:23 AM CilantroFP: cool, better than i ever did!
10:34:47 AM CilantroFP: well whats your strategy/goals/experience
10:34:55 AM muffiehbs05: Well see, I’m not totally sure yet.
10:35:05 AM muffiehbs05: Goals, make good returns, duh.
10:35:29 AM muffiehbs05: Experience, several years at The Bank. HBS. Vassar.
10:36:04 AM CilantroFP: gotcha that all means nothing to me–that sounds like you’re all traditional investment banking doing deals and taking fees
10:36:10 AM CilantroFP: i’m just a trader without any connections
10:36:34 AM muffiehbs05: Traditional investment banking deals? Do you think I work for Bank of America or something?
10:37:41 AM muffiehbs05: I’m trying to learn how to make money. I have capital already. I thought you were kind of the grass-roots, everyman’s hedge fund guy?
10:38:15 AM CilantroFP: yah i can teach u trading
10:38:19 AM CilantroFP: if thats what u want to do
10:38:20 AM muffiehbs05: You can?
10:38:29 AM CilantroFP: yeah thats what i do, teach others to be better than me
10:38:30 AM muffiehbs05: Well, don’t you have to trade to have a hedge fund?
10:39:22 AM CilantroFP: nah theres all k ind of hedge funds and strategies
10:40:04 AM muffiehbs05: Like what?
10:41:04 AM CilantroFP: private equity, macro, currencies, commodities, a million diff markets
10:41:10 AM CilantroFP: i trade us smallcaps
10:41:12 AM CilantroFP: not very scalable
10:41:17 AM CilantroFP: but u can make a few mil/year
10:41:21 AM muffiehbs05: What are Diff Markets?
10:41:29 AM CilantroFP: different markets
10:41:32 AM muffiehbs05: Ah!
10:41:42 AM muffiehbs05: Well, so how much capital is good to start with?
10:41:52 AM CilantroFP: depends on your strategy and risk tolerance
10:42:07 AM CilantroFP: for mine u only need a few thusand
10:42:12 AM CilantroFP: aka why i went the mainstream route
10:42:15 AM muffiehbs05: But I have a lot more than that.
10:42:26 AM muffiehbs05: So do I need a different strategy?
10:42:46 AM CilantroFP: correct, mym strategy only works up to $10mil or so
10:43:02 AM muffiehbs05: Really?
10:43:18 AM muffiehbs05: So if I had, $5 million… it would still work?
10:43:36 AM CilantroFP: sure
10:43:40 AM CilantroFP: its actually perfect for that
10:43:48 AM CilantroFP: i’m just too excitable and undisciplined
10:44:03 AM muffiehbs05: Me too!
10:44:14 AM CilantroFP: bess was right, we’ll get along just fine
10:44:23 AM muffiehbs05: Hah!
10:45:01 AM muffiehbs05: My investors have a high risk tolerance. They really don’t care if I lose a lot of money.
10:45:17 AM CilantroFP: cool, welcome to my life then
10:45:30 AM muffiehbs05: Yeah?
10:45:53 AM muffiehbs05: Where did you get your MBA?
10:46:55 AM CilantroFP: ha i was a philosophy major at tulane!
10:47:01 AM CilantroFP: none of that ivy shit
10:47:07 AM muffiehbs05: No MBA?
10:47:39 AM CilantroFP: nah i was too busy making my 2nd million
10:47:53 AM muffiehbs05: Oh. Well what investment bank did you work at?
10:48:26 AM CilantroFP: http://timothysykes.com/index.php/books/library.html
10:48:28 AM CilantroFP: this is all i know
10:48:33 AM CilantroFP: no corporate experience whatsoever
10:48:42 AM muffiehbs05: You didn’t work at an investment bank?
10:48:43 AM CilantroFP: learned everything through trial and error and reading
10:48:54 AM CilantroFP: haha no, i started in high school
10:49:11 AM muffiehbs05: Wait, your book was TRUE?
10:49:15 AM muffiehbs05: I thought it was ficiton?
10:49:20 AM CilantroFP: nooooooooooooo
10:49:22 AM CilantroFP: it was 100% true
10:49:24 AM CilantroFP: lol
10:49:29 AM muffiehbs05: You know like Catcher in the Wheat or whatever…
10:49:49 AM CilantroFP: LOL, thats funny
10:49:56 AM muffiehbs05: What?
10:50:04 AM CilantroFP: that u thought it was fiction
10:50:17 AM muffiehbs05: So, wait, you didn’t get an MBA or work at an investment bank?
10:50:32 AM CilantroFP: nope
10:50:40 AM CilantroFP: always just worked from my dorm room/bedroom
10:50:48 AM muffiehbs05: Uh, ok.
10:50:55 AM muffiehbs05: Yeah. So, I have to run. Talk to you later.
10:51:56 AM CilantroFP: cya

Not funny, Bess.
 
You guys do know there is no "Muffie Benson-Perella" right? The last name is an amalgam of two investment bank names. I think its safe to say that its a fictional character.
 
10:45:01 AM muffiehbs05: My investors have a high risk tolerance. They really don’t care if I lose a lot of money.
More...

If I was this person "Timmay", I would have ended this silly chat session right there. Come back with your PhD.
 
really, if this was just a smear job on Timmy, COOL. but if ur saying that a prereq for Hedgefunds is finance, then ur off base.

a strong liberal arts w/ science can make one complex enough to navigate.

yes, experience is needed, but if one has a good fund, that is experience.

checkout bios at most mutualfunds, etc. most are intelligent, capable folks. w/ BA and Bs degrees.

In the HF business, one things does become clear soon: if u can make money, it is a pure merit based business.

yes, i know that those in ithe 'inside' get trades/ideas from their smart buddies at GS or etc, but generally merit does get u across this river.
 
Tim is the guy I saw on CNBC I think. What's wrong with him? I have seen him attacked many times on ET. What was his handle? Sounded like he used to post here and then quit.
 
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