What a long and strange trip this has been.
I cut my teeth in trading a decade ago as a "soes bandit", where luck and a bubble market left me with a big head and no clue in the aftermath. Then spent years in limbo trading futures: currencies, sif's, bonds, metals, cycling extraordinary gains with even more dramatic blow-ups. I went to the edge this past year when I seriously questioned myself, whether or not I had learned anything of use over the years -- a trader who loses his confidence is a sorry sight indeed. But I suppose perserverence won out in the end, even though I'd be the first to admit that I continued forward because I really had no where else to go.
And now where am I? Back in stocks, trading prop of all things, where I guess I belong. I go home flat each day, and with some luck a paycheck comes at the end of each month. No more "campaign" trading, nor playing hedge fund manager for this humble trader -- I feel blessed enough to be excited every monday morning for the start of each week. I get to even talk to other traders (like, real life people), and have my P/L pored over each day, instead of trading isolated at home, rationalizing god knows what in the dark.
All I've mentioned to the managers of the office was that I was a futures trader who traded stocks "a while back". Why I wanted to trade stocks again, they didn't really ask. The first few weeks were pretty crazy, numbers just don't affect me anymore and I think they thought I was near insane in how I jumped in -- I've always learned fastest through my losses
But things settled down and I'm adapting quickly, and I'm realizing with great relief that all those years in front of the screen did not go to waste. Why I didn't go this route sooner is beyond me, but I'd like to imagine there's a reason for everything. I'm grateful as hell to be able to call myself a trader again, and thanks to all here who've helped me along the way.
I cut my teeth in trading a decade ago as a "soes bandit", where luck and a bubble market left me with a big head and no clue in the aftermath. Then spent years in limbo trading futures: currencies, sif's, bonds, metals, cycling extraordinary gains with even more dramatic blow-ups. I went to the edge this past year when I seriously questioned myself, whether or not I had learned anything of use over the years -- a trader who loses his confidence is a sorry sight indeed. But I suppose perserverence won out in the end, even though I'd be the first to admit that I continued forward because I really had no where else to go.
And now where am I? Back in stocks, trading prop of all things, where I guess I belong. I go home flat each day, and with some luck a paycheck comes at the end of each month. No more "campaign" trading, nor playing hedge fund manager for this humble trader -- I feel blessed enough to be excited every monday morning for the start of each week. I get to even talk to other traders (like, real life people), and have my P/L pored over each day, instead of trading isolated at home, rationalizing god knows what in the dark.
All I've mentioned to the managers of the office was that I was a futures trader who traded stocks "a while back". Why I wanted to trade stocks again, they didn't really ask. The first few weeks were pretty crazy, numbers just don't affect me anymore and I think they thought I was near insane in how I jumped in -- I've always learned fastest through my losses
But things settled down and I'm adapting quickly, and I'm realizing with great relief that all those years in front of the screen did not go to waste. Why I didn't go this route sooner is beyond me, but I'd like to imagine there's a reason for everything. I'm grateful as hell to be able to call myself a trader again, and thanks to all here who've helped me along the way.