Another chapter in the Zen of Wally:
" Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left! "
http://www.sunnyskyz.com/funny-jokes/193/A-Linguistics-Professor-Is-Lecturing-His-Class
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day.
"In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."
Son: "Mom, Dad... I'm gay."
Mom: Stares at Dad.
Dad: Clenches fist.
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: Sweats Profusely.
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD."
http://www.sunnyskyz.com/funny-jokes/200/Mom-Dad-I-m-Gay
"In preparation for my sermon next week, I want you all to read Mark chapter 17. You are dismissed." So next week everybody comes back to church. After singing a few hymns, the pastor comes to the pulpit.
"How many read Mark chapter 17 like I said last week?" Everyone raised their hand. The pastor says "and it's a great chapter, amen??" There are shouts of "amen!" from the congregation. Then the pastor smirks.
"Well, Mark only has 16 chapters. I will now begin my sermon on the terrible sin of lying."
http://www.sunnyskyz.com/funny-jokes/203/A-Pastor-Is-Finishing-Up-His-Sermon-On-Sunday-Morning-