Quote from travis:
Leveraged forex, just like me. And I, too, am developing other strategies now (have 33 now, but 7 of them don't work). Smoothing the equity curve, exactly. That is what's been driving me crazy for the past year - the drawdown. For two straight months I double, and then suddenly the next month the systems want to lose everything or almost. Then I get irrational and try to get my money back and I'll lose everything with my discretionary trading (it happened twice already, in one year - I started many threads about it). Then, in the past 6 months, I was forced to understand the concept of "money management", which for me doesn't go very far - I can only understand the kelly criterion (I am bad at formulas).
I am glad you liked the thread. I need people like you and the others to tell me this is normal, otherwise I will be tempted to give everything back in order not to feel like a criminal, like I am doing something illegal, or like it's not going to last (and this will cause me to panic as soon as I see some drawdown)... similar destabilizing ideas that go through my mind, and that lead to self-sabotage.
But thanks to this forum I am always getting a sense of what others in my situation are thinking and experiencing and this keeps me balanced and on track. Other than here and on similar forums, all I hear is people who say:
1) "it's impossible - come on, if it worked, everyone would be doing it".
2) "it's immoral to make money without working".
3) "it's like gambling - you might as well play the lottery".
That's all I hear from normal people.