Bottom line, the best traders i know are patient they look at the market like glass, the guy who was my mentor was up like 25k the first time i met him and didnt even flinch, PNL just straight up doesnt phase this guy, and i cant tell you how many lessons i learned from him.
How did this mentor trade? From most stories I have come across over the years, many traders have their best years and then they can never match this performance again. I like the saying that you only need to become rich once, so you push it while the going is good, and then scale back to go into preservation mode. But I do wonder about the luck factor here because there are times when holding is good, and times when taking small profits along the way is good. You of course only know after the fact, but unless someone knows exactly when to switch between the two modes, you have to almost rely on luck that you're using the right strategy at the right time.
On the flip side of "darn, I should have held this longer" is always "darn, I should have sold for the tiny profit I had". I'm sure that if you look at your past 20 trades, those that hit $1 profit will be more numerous than those that hit $2. Likewise, if the target was 50 cents, there would be even more winners. So if you're gonna want those $2 profits or more, it seems like you will have to get comfortable with a smaller win rate. But the fact that you were proud of you 8/8 win rate (which you should be of course) means that win rate is important too.
I guess what I'm saying is that you seem to be hard on yourself, but I almost don't feel as if you should be. Based on what you're saying and how you're trading, you're making the best decisions with the info you have in the moment. I of course fully understand how in the moment, the tape causes you to exit, which in the long run might not mean much when you zoom out, but I think this is how you trade, and you have to do what feels most comfortable.
I know i can just add size, and make a bit more money, but that tops out, and the kind of trading im doing is stressful as hell, id way rather learn to hold for 5 days with half the size.
Can you hold out though? Would holding longer mean that you're using a wider stop? Its one thing to stay in a trade that is going sideways, but its another if its going against you, and even if you thought you could use a wider stop, in the moment, you perhaps don't want to use a wider stop. If currently you use a 20 cent stop and a dollar target, but you say you'd like to hold longer, lets say for a 2 dollar target but use a 40 cent stop, can you really hold for one or the other? I bet that in the moment, when you see something you didn't like, you would abandon the trade, which then puts you back into the short term vs. swing trader.
As corny as it sounds, you talk as if you want to fly, but alas, you were born with flippers, so you're designed to swim.
You say the way you trade is stressful as hell, but I imagine holding stocks overnight for multiple days will prove to be just as stressful. At least when you're day trading, you can get out any time. These are of course all personal details, so its a matter of finding out what is right for you.
Whatever happened to your mentor? It sounds like you are no longer in touch.